Thursday, January 9, 2014

The Men of Being Mary Jane: #TeamDavid, #TeamAndre or #TeamNeither?

UPDATE: So, I may have been wrong about David. Check it here

So obviously I watched Being Mary Jane, as did about 5 million other people. BET has a hit on its hands and fingers crossed and prayers up that they don't screw it up (like The Game). But that's not what this blog post is about. I already talked about that. What I'm more interested in are Mary Jane's men and what most of us would do in her shoes,  if we are really honest with ourselves. ***SPOILER ALERT***

In this corner, we have David, played by Stephen Bishop (told ya'll light skin was making a comeback). David is not a bad guy in that he doesn't treat Mary Jane poorly. When Mary Jane left  in the middle of the night to rescue her depressed friend who nearly OD'ed on some sort of drug, David stayed until she got back, asked about her friend and suggested the need for a psychiatrist. He could have just threw up deuces and rolled out, but he didn't. He also went into protector mode when he saw a strange car creep into MJ's driveway (#TeamAndre).

Buttttttttttt David is a manwhore. When we were first introduced to David last year in the movie pilot, his opening line was "Are you up for some casual sex?". He is emotionally unavailable and not here for intimacy or messy relationships. He's here for casual sex. Duh! Didn't you hear the man? He's also honest, brutally so. He makes his intentions clear and doesn't play games. If Mary Jane asks him one of those tricky romantic questions, he cuts to the chase and answers truthfully. There's casual sex to be had, so why waste time beating around the bush (pun not intended...but then again...). UPDATE: So David is now "seeing someone" and things are "moving really fast." Apparently, unlike a leopard, a manwhore can change its spots. It just takes age and the right woman, or a good woman at the right time. But I digress.

Andre on the other hand, played by Omari Hardwick (I should have put him on my list too. Dang it!), is your typical cheater. He lies to his wife and Mary Jane. He claims he loves MJ and next week it looks like he might be ready to leave his wife for her, but trailers can be deceiving. However, like all cheaters he's selfish. It's all about what he wants, when he wants it. Yeah, sometimes husbands leave their wives for the sidechick, and some of them even live happily ever after, but that only happens once every blue moon.

Sidepieces exist for a reason: Folks go out looking for something their spouse or significant other isn't providing (or so they say), and they find it in someone else. Instead of working on his marriage, Andre buries himself in vulnerable Mary Jane and doesn't bother to tell her the truth. But Andre has MJ's heart. Consequently, even after an excruciating and personal interrogation by the scorned wife of her married lover, Mary Jane succumbs to the oh so gentle removal of her shower cap and hair clip and gives up the goods to Andre in the gym shower. Yeah, all that happened.

Both of these guys are terrible for Mary Jane, who just wants to have it all: a loving and devoted husband, kids and a successful career. What's interesting are their levels of awfulness. My fascination with this dynamic led me to conduct an unscientific poll on Facebook and Instagram with this crazy question:

Hey Being Mary Jane watchers, who do you think is worse, David or Andre? David is emotionally available and not here for any kind of intimacy, but he's upfront and brutally honest. On the flip side, Andre claims he loves MJ, but he's married (!!). What say you? If you were a glutton for punishment and had to choose, would you pick the honest manwhore or the married guy who claims to love you? #TeamNeither is not an option :)

Folks tried with the "#TeamNeither" stuff, but that wasn't going to fly. When pressed, most folks said they would choose the honest manwhore over the cheater. That response makes sense, if you had to choose the lesser of two evils, but that's what makes Mary Jane and characters like Olivia Pope so relateable and frustrating: As women we shouldn't have to choose the lesser of two evils, but many of us, myself included, do it anyway and get involved all the time with men who aren't good for us, aren't available and aren't who God wants for us.   

So, I take it back, #TeamNeither IS an option because we all deserve better. The challenge is actually believing it and not settling for anything less than what we deserve.

Stay random,


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