Wednesday, October 2, 2013

Have light-skinned brothers finally made a comeback? The Sequel: Now with more chocolate

Back in 2012 I wrote a post about light-skinned dudes making a comeback. It was all in fun, but for whatever reason (you know who you are), it remains my most popular post.

So, in the interest of giving the people what they want, I decided to do a sequel...kinda. This time I'm not only talking about high-yellowness,but all shades of the chocolate rainbow.

First up, the 2013 class of Team Light-Skin:

    Colin Kaepernick 
    Did I know who the heck 49ers QB Colin Kaepernick was before last year? Nope, and neither did you. Ever since he burst on the football scene he's been everywhere, naked in ESPN the Magazine, half-naked in GQ, commercials, etc. Some might say he's overexposed. Others, like me, are enjoying the view. Oh, word on the street is that the 25-year-old football star is dating the lovely 42-year-old Sanaa Lathan. Discuss and be jealous!  
    And while we're on the subject of naked athletes in magazines, I'd like to give a shout out to ESPN's Body Issue.

    Last year we got Tyson Chandler and his glorious glutes on the cover, and this year we get Colin in all his tatted-up glory. ESPN's Body Issue: the gift that keeps on giving.   

    Dewayne "The Rock" Johnson

    Who doesn't love Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson? He's BIG, tall and gorgeous and seems like a cool guy. Hence, his placement on this list. However, I do so with a bit of hesitation because of this ESSENCE cover. Um, I've never heard of The Rock dating a Black woman, but there he is in all his fineness talking about what he likes about Black women (slight side-eye). Uh, OK boo. Hopefully you weren't lying to ESSENCE, and we'll see a sista on your arm in the near future. Until then, stay fine.

    Daniel Sunjata 

    Who remembers Daniel Sunjata as Louis LeRoy on Sex in the City? If you don't, you ain't no real fan of this pretty piece of man candy. Seriously, he was one of the reasons I watched Rescue Me for as long as a I did. He's got a new show called Graceland on the USA network. I'm at capacity with my TV shows, but check out the show (I hear it's good), if nothing else than to peep what you've been missing.

    Matt Kemp

    Anyone who knows me understands how much I HATE, HATE, HATE baseball. Seriously, it's like chicken pox. It's painful and takes way too long to go away. So, how do I know who Matt Kemp is? All praise be to Rihanna for introducing the world to the cuteness that is Kemp. If baseball is chicken pox then Kemp is calamine lotion, making the pain go away, at least for a little while. Oh Matt, this would be so much easier if you just played a sport that I liked. Why won't you cooperate, with your cute self?

    Lenny Kravitz

    Lenny Kravitz is almost 50 and putting most of these young bucks to shame, and not just in the fine department. In addition to being a rock star, he's acting career is on 10 with roles in The Butler, Hunger Games, and more. He also has his own design firm...and an island in the Bahamas. Get. Yo. Life. Lenny is doing the damn thing, and he's doing it well.    

    Derrick Rose

    If ever there was a light-skinned dude making a comeback, it's Derrick Rose. D. Rose hasn't played in nearly 18 months due to a torn ACL and put everyone on notice that he wasn't going to play again until he was good and ready. Well, he says he's good to go, and I'm sure fans everywhere can't wait until he steps back on the court. Chicago stand up!

    Honorable Mention

    Laz Alonso

    Don't you wish you saw of more of Mr. Alonso? I mean, look at him. He's FIONE and he's bilingual. If that ain't sexy I don't know what is. Hopefully he'll get the TV or movie come up he deserves, and all of our wishes will be granted.

    Light-skinned Oreos 

    Yeah, I'm putting cookies on this. Why? Because they're light-skinned, and I hear they're really good. It's my list and I can do what I want.

    Now, I promised a broader spectrum of fine in this post, and I'm a woman of my word. Next up: the 2013 class of Team Chocolate (milk and dark): 

    Idris Elba

    You can't have a proper Team Chocolate list without Idris Elba. I mean, bloody hell, do we even need to discuss this? Nope, I didn't think so. Keep calm (if you can), and carry on.

    Lance Gross 
    Lance has beautiful skin, pretty teeth, a new TV show, impressive photography skills, and seems like the type of fineness you could take home to your moma. Now, after you leave your moma's place...well, this is a family blog but you get the idea :)

    Columbus Short 
    Oh Harrison, you gorgeous gladiator in Gingham. For many people, Scandal is all about Olivia and Fitz. But when they're not having hate sex, it's all about Harrison, his tailored suits and his raspy yet sexy voice. Now, from what I hear, he isn't exactly the best husband (marriage #2 recently went kaput), but Harrison, I mean Columbus, is an actor, so just enjoy the fantasy.

    Morris Chesnut

    I am so excited to see The Best Man Holiday in November and part of the reason is because Morris Chestnut is STILL fine after all these years and all his hairstyles. Morris and Lance are in a tight race for the prettiest teeth prize, but Morris has been holding it down for dark brothers with pearly whites since the early 90s, so advantage Morris. 

    Blair Underwood  

    Like Lenny Kravitz, Blair is aging like a fine wine. He's also knocking on 50 and has a lot going on. Last year it was the revival of A Streetcar Named Desire, and this year it's a new show called Ironside on NBC. Do I need to do a post on older, sexy brothers? If I do, you already know who will top the list.

    Dolvett Quince

    I don't watch The Biggest Loser often, but the last time I did, I noticed they had a new trainer that was chocolate and fine, with pretty teeth (Are you sensing a pattern here?). Good call, Biggest Loser! It takes a lot to motivate me, but handsome trainers certainly help.

    Honorable Mention

    Serge Ibaka

    Serge "Air Congo" Ibaka plays for the Oklahoma City Thunder and is quite sexy as you can see. Singer Keri Hilson peeped his chocolatety African goodness and snatched him off the market. Smart girl! Now if she could only make equally smart decisions about her singing career.
    Dark-skinned Oreos

    You can't go wrong with a classic. And like I said earlier, it's my list and I can put whatever I want on here, including cookies.

    So, there you have it, the 2013 All-Inclusive Class of Fine. If you disagree with my choices...uh, OK. If you agree with my choices, maybe we can be friends. Until the next list...

    Stay Random,

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