Goodell Has Got to Go

OK, now that I've had time to think about this...Roger "Protect the Shield" Goodell needs to go. It's one thing for a sadistic abuser like Ray Rice to lie and convince himself and his poor wife that what he did was justified. However, for Roger Goodell to 1) see the horrific video, 2) give Rice a slap on the wrist for viciously attacking a woman while talking out of the side of his neck about integrity and codes of conduct, 3) lie to fans, media and everyone about not seeing the full video until today --and just for the record, NO ONE believes that for a second -- 4) and to only do what should have been done MONTHS ago because people finally saw the video takes a special kind of callous indifference towards the women who make up nearly 45% of the NFL fan base. You don't have to punch a woman multiple times like Rice to be a misogynist. In my mind, Goodell is just as twisted as Ray Rice, and if Rice has to go, so should Goodell. Oh, and please ‪#‎PrayforJanay‬ and all women who haven't yet found the strength to get out of abusive situations.

P.S. Keith Olbermann told y'all a month ago that Goodell needed to go, y'all didn't want to listen. Will you listen now? 

Quick rant: Brothers, can we talk about your nasty habits?

First, Happy August! Second, brothers, can we talk? Your public displays of grossness are not acceptable just because you're a man. I know that may come as a shock, but it's true. Hear me out.

Seriously, all the spitting on the ground, blowing things out of your nose, picking your nose (SERIOUSLY????!!!!) scratching yourself down there, not washing your hands after you take a piss, just STOP IT. STOP. IT. NOW. There's no excuse for it, especially if you're a grown ass man. Yeah, I know that someone, maybe even your parents, told you all the things I'm talking about are just things that men do. While that's unfortunate, I'm here to tell you that somebody lied to you. There is no biological reason you have to be gross in public. Therefore, stop being gross. It's really that simple.

We're all going to have to do gross things every now and then because we're human, and there are fascinating yet disgusting things happening in our bodies all the dang time. However the difference between men and women, at least the ones with good home training, is that most women will keep their grossness out of sight. If we absolutely have to do something gross in public, we try our damnedest to do our business quickly and discretely.  Men, not so much. Too many of you don't care where you do it or where it lands. Being gross is more than stomach churning, it's disrespectful and unnecessary. It shows how little you care about yourself and those around you. I can't speak for all women, but that kind of selfishness and disregard is not attractive.

Anywho, glad we could have this chat, and I really hope we don't need to have it again.

Stay random,
Jay

Chemo, you can take my puff, but you can't take my JOY!

This past weekend, I made the "mistake" of getting a blowout and the flatiron treatment. I say mistake because it's June, and my hair is defenseless again anything over 48% humidity (yes, I check). Anywho, of course my hair stayed straight for about a day before starting its journey toward cotton candy-like puffiness. In the earlier stages of this transition, I actually got compliments on my thick, puffy hair from colleagues who weren't used to seeing me with anything other than a tightly coiled 'fro. 

Obviously I appreciated the compliments, but the kind words also made me reflect on a time a few years ago when the chemotherapy I needed to treat my Hodgkins lymphoma took my puff away. 

I compensated with hats, wigs and heavier makeup. What a difference three years makes. I don't need hats or wigs, and my hair drives me nuts just like it did before The Big C. Today I'm exceedingly grateful to God to be healthy and in my right mind, puffy hair and all. 

#ButGod WontHeDoIt #Survivor #TeamNatural #IamNotMyHair #Grateful #EffCancer

Stay random, and don't let anything take your joy, including cancer and chemotherapy,

Jay

Think Like A Man Too: How ESSENCE Got it Right and Some of Y'all Negroes Got it Wrong

Sorry for taking such a long break, but life happens. Anywho, let's  get into the latest foolishness, shall we?

I'm looking forward to seeing Think Like a Man Too, but I'm seriously considering giving up reading anything about the movie on social media because the more I'm online, the more I'm starting to realize why we as Black folks can't advance as a people. Case in point: A lot of Black people are mad about Black people being on the cover of ESSENCE. Yes, I'm serious.

Let me explain. So I'm scrolling through Instagram when I see pics of ESSENCE's July double cover featuring the cast of Think Like a Man Too.

Lovely covers, right? Well, apparently a lot of people, most of them Black, were in their feelings about the exclusion of non-Black cast members Gary Owen and Jerry Ferrara and vented about it on ESSENCE's Intstagram account. Here's sampling of what I consider to be bewildering comments:

iamtyrenee @zonia0087you're grossly misguided! So if Vanity Fair or some other mainstream "white" magazine featured a movie with a diverse cast on the cover but EXCLUDED all the black people, would you be okay with that? Segregation is a two way street and Essence who constantly preaches "inclusion" should be called out for this huge omission....

 kbranche This cover needs to be done over to include @jerrycferrara and @garyowencomedy. Shameful!

aakeynnsnillocshow @essencemag that's made shade for excluding the whites

I saw similar comments on another entertainment blog. Um, to the folks that actually have an issue with the cover featuring the fellas: You do realize that ESSENCE is a magazine that caters to BLACK women, right? God forbid a Black magazine highlights Black people on the cover, like it does EVERY MONTH. This isn't Entertainment Weekly or People. ESSENCE is not obligated to highlight every non-Black cast member in a movie, TV show, etc., given it's purpose and audience.

Mainstream media outlets do an outstanding job of excluding us on the regular, so the fact that we have magazines, blogs and other outlets that highlight our beauty and accomplishments is something to celebrated, not the other way around. Criticize the content of Black mags? Sure, but getting upset because they didn't include a white person you like in a movie on the cover? Nah, bruh. That ish does not compute. I wish Ebony, ESSENCE, Uptown, etc. would put some white folks on their covers. I would be tight and if you had a sense of history and understood the power of media imagery, you would be too. 

I seriously doubt that media outlets geared toward other people of color worry about highlighting anyone else other then their own. Maybe I'm reaching, but these seemingly unimportant comments on Instagram bother me because it reveals a deep-seated need for white approval and validation. In other words, some of us want white approval so bad that we'll fight and fuss for white inclusion in "our stuff" in the name of diversity when we aren't extended the same courtesy. Seriously, what world are some of y'all living in? That post-racial one? You do realize that world doesn't exist, right? If you don't, then you haven't been paying attention.  

I really hope ESSENCE doesn't address this foolishness and doesn't change the way they use their covers to highlight beautiful BLACK people. As for the rest of you, quit worrying about white people. They will be OK and don't need you to fight their "battles." TRUST.



Ironically, I got the ESSENCE cover with the TLAM2 ladies today in the mail. I would have preferred the version with the guys.

Stay random,

Jay

Adam Silver did the right thing, but he's no hero

So NBA Commissioner Adam Silver brought the hammer down on Donald Sterling. Boycotts were averted and we can all get back to enjoying the NBA playoffs, right? I guess, but while I understand why everyone is applauding Adam Silver, let's not forget that he was former NBA Commissioner David Stern's deputy. He's been with the NBA since 1992, so he's known about Sterling's ugly racist ways for a loooonnnnggg time. He bears a certain amount of responsibility for this mess. 

Let's not forget that Chris Paul, the key to the Clippers recent success, originally wanted to play for the Lakers, but couldn't because David Stern forced Paul to the Clippers, essentially rewarding Sterling's deplorable behavior.  Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Silver took a hard line against Sterling, but heaping all this praise on him still doesn't feel quite right given his long tenure with the NBA. Oh, and if the NBA is successful in forcing Sterling to sell the team, he'll make at least $575 million, if not A LOT more, so forgive me if I don't rejoice about a truly awful human being making an enormous return on investment. Yeah, this still all feels kinda off to me, but I'm glad something was finally done.

Also, if you think Sterling's racism just impacts basketball, allow ESPN's Bomani Jones to disabuse of that notion. In this radio segment, Bomani breaks it down to the WHITE MEAT why Sterling's housing discrimination cases are far more sinister. 

Yes, the awful, gross racist is gone, so to speak, but if this is a victory, it rings hollow. What's more important is what happens moving forward.

Stay random,
Jay

Donald Sterling is awful and so are the LA Clippers

UPDATE: So the Clippers took the subtle route today in taking a stand against their racist owner after supposedly nixing the idea of any kind of protest because they didn't want to look like radicals.
I'm still calling weak sauce on this and here's why:

Everybody (President Obama, Lebron and even Michael Jordan) is rightfully condemning LA Clippers owner and legendary racist Donald "Massa Epps" Sterling for his latest bigoted ramblings and the NBA for tolerating his history of hatefulness. But you know who else deserves some scorn? The men who play for the LA Clippers, especially Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and Deandre Jordan, as well as their coach, Doc Rivers.

Why the scorn for the players who just seem to be caught in the cross hairs? Because they had an opportunity to stand against Sterling's vitriol and send a message to the NBA and the world that people like Donald Sterling have no place in the NBA in 2014. A stand by the Clippers could have been the catalyst for removing the cancer that Donald Sterling is and always will be from ownership of the team. They could have boycotted the game they're playing today against the Golden State Warriors, but according to various reports and interviews with Clips coach Doc Rivers, that idea was quickly dismissed during a team meeting when the story broke on Friday night. It's not like the NBA couldn't reschedule a game or two, but the players gave the NBA a pass, the same league that put Sterling in a position of power in the first place. All the Clippers want to do is play basketball.

I'm sorry, but just wanting to keep your head down and play basketball is the mentality of a child, and the last time I checked, the Clippers roster is composed of men in the their 20s and 30s. By not using their collective power to affect positive change for their team and the NBA, the Clippers have basically said that as long as they get their millions and the Larry O'Brien trophy, nothing else matters, not dignity, not self-respect, not being able to look their children in the eye and say that daddy thought about more than just himself when he had the opportunity. Without protests, boycotts, civil disobedience, etc., the Civil Rights Movement wouldn't have happened, and I shudder to think where we would be without it. However, I guess the Clippers missed those lessons in school because all they want to do is play basketball.

The picture above has been making the rounds recently and while tragically funny, it also takes on a new meaning, at least for me, when I digest this ridiculous situation: At least Solomon wanted to be free from Massa Epps. It's hard to read the Clippers' feelings about their plantation owner.


Stay random,
Jay

Back in the day

Scandal Indeed: Thoughts on Season 3 and Sociopathic Popes

So another Scandal season has come and gone, and I don't know about you, but I'm feeling some kind of way about and not necessarily a warm and fuzzy way. Let's get into it, shall we?

Return of the Mack

In previous Scandal seasons, Olivia was a professional badass fixer even though she was a hot mess in her personal life (You know, having an affair with the president will do that to a girl). In three seasons we went from "It's handled," to "I thought it was handled, but it wasn't and now I've created an even bigger mess." I rebuke this weak, confused, unsure Olivia and beg Shonda Rhimes to fix this (see what I did there) because this Olivia is asking for a "snap out it" slap and a channel change if she doesn't get her ish together.


Remember when Olivia did her job and did it well? Remember when she fixed things for folks other than Fitz and his needy, selfish behind? Bring back new clients and the Olivia we know and love. Fix it Jesus!

Parents Just Don't Understand...That Murder Isn't Always the Answer

It must be very, uh....interesting to have parents who who kill people unnecessarily to protect you and give you what you think you want. However, then you have to admit your parents are sociopaths and that's a bit of a sticky wicket.

Papa and Mama Pope (bravo Joe Morton and Khandi Alexander!) were not here for Fitz treating their daughter like a used dishrag, so they joined forces to teach Fitz that there's a price for a free and fair election and to get him away from their daughter. All they had to do was blow up a few things and kill some folks, including Fitz's oldest son (or brother, depending on who you believe) on national TV on the eve of the election. After all, in Papa Pope's world "He took my child so I took his," is a totally reasonable rationale. Oh, and let's not forget Papa Pope also wasn't having it when Fitz took his other "child," B613, when he made Jake Command, so Papa Pope had to let everyone know who was really in charge. Ladies and gentlemen, when someone tells you, "I am the hell and the high water," believe them.

Is Olitz Over?

One of the major bright spots in the season 3 finale was the pumping of brakes on Olivia and Fitz's torturous love affair, or as the kids call them, Olitz. In the beginning these two had so much passion and chemistry that it was hard not root for them despite all the adultery. However, as the seasons rolled on, we got to see Fitz in all his awfulness and the havoc it was wreaking on Olivia. That, and the fact that Mellie became a lot more sympathetic this season , the Olitz relationship drama just got tedious and frustrating. 

Now that Olivia has left D.C. to stand in the sun with Jake, let's hope that we won't have to hear anything about Fitz and Liv making jam in Vermont for a looonnnggg time. These two need a break. Not the D.Wade/Ludacris have a baby with another broad type of break, but a significant time out is definitely in order.

Quinn. Gotta. Die. (But Harrison will probably be the one)

Confession time: I've NEVER liked the Quinn character. She was annoying and stupid when she didn't know her name was Lindsey and she hasn't changed during her time with B613 and her return (?) to Pope & Associates. She's like the bothersome little gnat that you just can't kill no matter  how many times you clap your hands in the air. Oh, and let's not forget those gross sex scenes with Huck. Lawd. Now that Quinn has located Huck's ridiculously attractive family, one can only hope that Quinn has outlived her usefulness and will go be annoying somewhere else.

RIP Harrison...Maybe?

And while we're talking about characters that may or  may not bite the big one, let's look at the situation with ya boy Harrison. I concur with other folks who say that the season finale was written the way it was for a reason. Shonda and co. probably didn't intend to kill him off, but with Columbus Short acting a MONKEY FOOL, it looks like Shonda gave herself room to ax his character if he doesn't deal with his demons.

I really need these Black actors to get it together. Have we learned nothing from Isaiah Washington or Gary Dourdan, two actors who screwed up the best TV jobs they were ever going to have for some mess (Isaiah's case was a little different, but you get my point)? I learned from it, and I'm not an actor. On the real, Columbus needs help and hopefully he'll get it before he hurts himself or someone else. 

Anywho, that's my rant about Scandal, and I'm sticking to it. While enjoyable at times, this season strayed from a winning formula, and one can only hope that Queen Shonda realizes this and gets back to basics.

Stay random,

Jay