Why Won't You Let Thanksgiving be Great??

Happy Thanksgiving! Now, do yourself a favor, and just let Thanksgiving be great. It’s not Pre-Christmas, and despite what Wal-Mart, Target and the other greedy retailers tell you, it’s NOT a day to rush through dinner at grandma’s to buy a bunch of discounted stuff you don’t need.

You know what Thanksgiving is? Above all else, Thanksgiving is a time to give thanks for all things that impact your life, both big and small. It’s a time to be grateful for what God has brought you through and kept you from. Whether it’s the fact that you don’t have to cook this year, or that you’re still standing and gaining strength and wisdom despite heartbreak, job loss, health issues or financial ruin, you’ve got a reason to be thankful.

Also, be thankful for what God is doing in the lives of other people.  After all, the world doesn’t revolve around you, thank God. See what I did there? :)

Thanksgiving is also:

·A time to eat enormous amounts of food and take epic itis-induced naps

·A time to watch football and go see a movie later that evening
·A time to either eat a struggle plate or gag at the sight of one on Instagram
·A time to be annoyed and amused by your friends and family…at the same damn time

Annnndddd, if nothing else, be thankful for this:

You’re welcome. Save me some mac-n-cheese and stay random.

--Jay

Regrets: It's OK to Have Them

I hate it when people say they have no regrets. It's a lie if ever there was one. We all do dumb things and make mistakes. If you don't regret wearing that Herve Leger dress when your body was better suited for a Dress Barn outfit, then something is wrong. Regrets aren't bad, as long as it's not the end of your story.

I regret investing an extraordinary amount of time in someone who didn't deserve me. What's worse is that I knew our complicated "situation," wouldn't work out, but I pressed ahead anyway, like a fool. What I regret most is outlined in the letter below. Get into my confessional and learn from my mistakes.

Dear XXX,

I heard you got married. I also heard that the time between the engagement and the wedding was fairly short. Because of what I heard, I know the time we spent together and the words that were said overlapped with your plans to marry another woman. Consequently, I have regrets about our situation because you're not the man I thought you were.

I regret believing that you actually loved or cared about me. I regret giving you my time, love, attention and friendship. I regret letting myself be vulnerable with you because you weren't worthy of my trust. I regret believing your words rather than your actions.

I regret believing you would one day explain yourself and provide the closure I thought I needed. I regret thinking about you and missing you because I now realize I wasted time and energy that I can't get back. I regret believing your sweet words and gifts meant anything at all.

I deeply regret that I didn't break free of our doomed situation sooner. I tried many times, but you had an uncanny ability to call or text at just the right time, and I always got sucked right back in. I regret that I wasn't stronger.

Bottom line: You're a cowardly, selfish, awful person, and I regret not acknowledging this fact a long time ago. 

Sincerely,
Me

So, as you can see I have a lot of regrets about this situation, but I'm at peace with them. Why? Because experience is the best teacher, and I plan on being an A student. (Want details about The Great Regret? Check it here.)

Stay Random,

Jay

SCANDAL INDEED: HAS SHONDA RHIMES GONE TOO FAR?

What the hell Scandal? I mean, Shonda, I'm still trying to process what happened, and I don't know if that's a good thing. ***SPOILERS AHEAD!****

At its heart Scandal has always been a soap opera, and as someone who has watched everything from Dynasty to The Young and the Restless, I've always been fine with that. Since it's a nighttime soap, a lot has to happen to hold fans over week after week, and Scandal always delivers. That's part of the appeal and part of the fun (watching Scandal on Twitter is pure comedy) However, after tonight, I'm wondering if they gave us too much.

This latest episode was all about Mellie and how she got to be the cold, power hungry, whore tolerater she is today. I've always had sympathy for Mellie, unlike some fans, because I believe she loves Fitz the person, as well as the power. I also believe that all of her heinous shade and draw dropping shenanigans are done and said out of a place of extreme hurt. I mean, Fitz treats her like ish, and that's putting it mildly.

Well, how did Mellie become Mellie? Based on the flashbacks in this episode, Mellie and Fitz really did love each other in the beginning of their marriage, and she was always confident, strong, smart and ambitious. What changed? Oh, just being raped by Fitz's disgusting father and never telling Fitz Jr. what happened.

YES, you read that correctly: Fitz Sr. raped his son's wife. Oh, and now there's the question of whether their oldest child is Fitz's son or half-brother. Um, WHAT?!!!!!! I thought I was watching Scandal, not All My Children.

Now, the headline of the episode should have been that Mama Pope (ABC is promoting next week's episode with #MamaPopeLives. Interesting) is alive and in jail, and Daddy Pope put her there after getting her off the plane before Fitz shot it down. But, all anyone will be talking about is the rape, and we should because like many people, I'm not quite sure how I feel about Scandal going...there.

I love character back story and flashbacks, and was enjoying seeing that the "old" Mellie wasn't always the Lady Macbeth of the White House. However, that shifted once I saw what was happening between Fitz Sr. and Mellie. If nothing else, seeing Mellie get raped by her father-in-law was shocking and gross. More importantly, it felt unnecessary and out of place. Did it make Mellie more sympathetic? Of course, but at what cost? Was this really the best way to make viewers understand Mellie's motivations? I sincerely doubt it.

I'm not the only one who was taken aback by this sharp change in direction. A number of folks on my Twitter timeline used the words like "trashy", "lazy", "nauseous" and "jumped the shark" in their opinions about tonight's episode. There's also the issue of rape as a tool to "break" women and the fact that this breaking is at the hand of show runner extraordinaire Shonda Rhimes.

Exactly see TPerry RT @MoreAndAgain: God forbid a woman just be smart and strong because she is, huh? She had to be broken first? I can't.
— ProfB (@AntheaButler) November 15, 2013

Oh lawd. A Tyler Perry comparison. Well, I can't say I blame anyone who was outdone by this episode, but I don't know if I'm ready or willing to echo these sentiments. I'm still trying to unpack what I saw, but the only way I can describe it is to go old school and say what I watched didn't sit right with my spirit.

Unfortunately, some people will see this episode through a "rape denial" lens, where rape is preventable or a tool women have at their disposal to somehow get the upper hand. That speaks to rape culture and how sick some people are to actually believe that women, even fictional TV characters, bring rape upon themselves or don't fight back enough, as if those things can actually happen. I won't get into that nonsense, but it's one of the downsides of social media: you find out how terrible, twisted and cowardly some people really are when the subject is rape.

Stories about rape need to be told, but when rape is used as a gratuitous plot twist, it just feels wrong, it feels disrespectful to rape victims and it just wasn't necessary. Scandal writers are some of the best in the biz, but I hope Shonda and Co. understand that they can and should do better. 

So, I guess I did unpack how I feel about this episode. Writing will do that.


P.S. Other things of note...Quinn made out with Charlie, killed somebody (by accident), and is now owned by B613; Sally's husband apparently plays for #TeamCyrus&James; Fitz Jr. knows that Rowan is Daddy Pope; Olivia was practically MIA from this epi; and like I said earlier, #MamaPopeLives


Stay Random,

Jay

WHEN THINGS FALL APART...LIKE BLOG POSTS

So, I had this lovely post all ready to go last week. It had pics and links and was about a subject that I love: fall and all the beauty that comes with this quirky little season. It was also one of those list posts that can be quite writing-intensive, depending how deep you want to go.

So, I was making some adjustments when I used the "undo" function one too many times and undid my blog post into oblivion. Um, to say I was destroyed would be an understatement. There were screams, frantic efforts to recover the post, tears, profanity (obviously) and a call to my sister.

Anyone who was written anything on a laptop knows the pain of completing losing a cherished piece of work at the end stages. However, what this experience taught me, besides the fact that "undo" is evil and needs an overhaul, is that I was upset because I care about this blog. I care about one day doing the contributing/freelance writing thing. I like it when people like my writing. In fact it makes me feel warm and fuzzy. Hopefully you folks aren't blowing smoke with your compliments, and maybe I can make this writer thing happen. After all, I care, dammit.

Anywho, enjoy your Sunday and stay random, and HAPPY FALL!

Jay