This blog is supposed to be about lessons, right? Well, an extremely important lesson is finally starting to sink in: I need help.
Here's another little gem for free: You need help as well. What kind of help? It depends on the person and the situation. Help can be financial aid and/or emotional support from family and friends, God, prayer, therapy, medication, etc. No matter what it is, you're eventually going to find yourself dealing with a situation that you just can't handle, and none of us can handle everything by ourselves. It's freakin' impossible, and the sooner you realize that, the better off you'll be.
I finalized that I needed my version of help after many sleepless nights, headaches, anger and tears over situations that seem to be coming to a head at the same time: deteriorating friendships, both deep and not as deep they seemed; a shattered familial relationship that could be beyond repair; an uncertain living situation; financial decisions with no easy solutions and financial commitments that require sacrifices that are difficult to accept; and dreams being dashed through no fault of my own. I described it to a friend this way: I'm standing in a field and multiple trains are barreling toward me and I've got nowhere to go and I'm going to get crushed.
I tried to find solutions and control the outcomes in a fruitless effort to "stop the trains" before I realized that trying to handle these situations by myself wasn't going to work. The "trains" are coming, but it's how I handle the impact versus the impact itself that's going to determine whether I'm crushed or badly injured with the ability to heal and move forward.
So, I finally admitted that I need help, and I'm doing it without shame or apology. I don't want to be crushed. I want to survive and figure out this mess so I can move forward, live life and experience the good without being crippled by the bad.
The moral of this story? We're not superheroes, and that's OK. Needing help isn't a sign of weakness or failure, but rather it shows that you're strong enough to put ego, pride and fear aside to get to a better place.
Stay random,
Jay
P.S. I started writing this blog one year ago this month, so that's kind of cool. Yay me!
