tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29223222598109940482024-03-13T09:32:26.449-04:00The New RandomnessCurrently on several journeys and learning valuable lessons along the way. Here are my musings on faith, friends, culture and random acts of silliness, all designed to help you live your best life (s/o to Oprah)! You've been warned.Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-73021096515909290642015-10-04T10:48:00.001-04:002015-10-04T23:02:01.151-04:0040 and Fab: Celebrate Your Birthday Even If You Don't Feel Like It<div class="MsoNormal">
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wA-8HzzWqdA/VhE5NNUXwXI/AAAAAAAAFGA/R-VJXJD9Z5c/s1600/Drafke.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-wA-8HzzWqdA/VhE5NNUXwXI/AAAAAAAAFGA/R-VJXJD9Z5c/s320/Drafke.jpg" width="244" /></a>I’m turning 40 this month (s/o to all my<a href="https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Libra_(astrology)" target="_blank"> Libras</a>!), and I am
choosing to celebrate this milestone because life is short and the length of it is not guaranteed. A couple of weeks ago I had a very different mindset. I was stressing out about my job, finding a new apartment, money and pictures. Pictures? You see, I’ve struggled with my weight for as long as I can remember and consequently, I’m extremely self-conscious about pictures. I’m not a big selfie person and definitely not a full-body shot person (sorry to all the <a href="https://twitter.com/jamilahlemieux/status/559118036205309955" target="_blank">ashy larrys</a>
who make these requests on <a href="http://match.com/">Match.com</a>, but it ain’t happening any time soon). When
you go to Vegas with your girlfriends to celebrate your birthday (or anything
else), you’re supposed to wear sexy clothes and take lots of pics, right? But I’m
already heavy and pictures just make me look even bigger. How am I supposed to
enjoy Vegas when I’m freaked about taking pictures with my friends? Obviously
my panic about pics just snowballed into anxiety about everything else going wrong in my
life and tears soon followed.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G79T0WRpT60/VhE5KUwUOAI/AAAAAAAAFF4/eOgyMEyDM0g/s1600/keep-calm-and-be-born-in-october-1.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-G79T0WRpT60/VhE5KUwUOAI/AAAAAAAAFF4/eOgyMEyDM0g/s200/keep-calm-and-be-born-in-october-1.png" width="171" /></a>I called my mama who reminded me that a birthday is a
celebration of life. In nothing else, I should celebrate that I’m still here,
healthy and in my right mind. During our talk I was reminded of where I’ve been
and how far I’ve come. <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/search?q=cancer" target="_blank">Around this time five years, I was diagnosed with stage 2 Hodgkin’s lymphoma.</a> While doctors will tell you that Hodgkin’s is <a href="http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/hodgkins-lymphoma/basics/definition/con-20030667" target="_blank">a very curable cancer</a>, it doesn’t work out that way for everyone. Most of the time I
didn’t think I was going to die, but I definitely had my moments (if I told you
the Blake Griffin story, you know how scared I was during certain points in my
journey). </div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ppAB97liSjU/VhE5Sf-P7fI/AAAAAAAAFGI/OJ5JSvSBzBQ/s1600/LionKing.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; display: inline !important; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="143" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-ppAB97liSjU/VhE5Sf-P7fI/AAAAAAAAFGI/OJ5JSvSBzBQ/s200/LionKing.jpg" width="200" /></a><br />
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After I completed treatment, I was dealt <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/search?updated-min=2012-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&updated-max=2013-01-01T00:00:00-05:00&max-results=26" target="_blank">additional blows that I didn’t handle very well</a>. However, like my pastor said recently, I’ve
been broken but I’m still blessed. God pulled me through too much to let pics
and other worries stand in the way of me feeling good about another year to do
great things. We’ve got one life on this earth to live and every year we get
should be celebrated for the victory it is.<br />
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<b><u>P.S. </u></b><br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mk88YqDFcz8/VhE6iKE4LaI/AAAAAAAAFGQ/uo-gjnLL5QQ/s1600/LLS-logo-V-CMYK.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; display: inline !important; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="104" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-mk88YqDFcz8/VhE6iKE4LaI/AAAAAAAAFGQ/uo-gjnLL5QQ/s200/LLS-logo-V-CMYK.jpg" width="200" /></a>Wanna get me something for my birthday? Make a donation to the <a href="http://www.lls.org/" target="_blank">Leukemia & Lymphoma Society</a>.<br />
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And, if you got anything left over, buy ya girl a drink the next time you see me :) </div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-90646481144801610442015-03-22T16:08:00.004-04:002015-03-22T16:08:44.754-04:00Lyon Lessons: Empire and the Consequences of Hate (and Predictions for Season 2)Yes, it's been days since the insane <a href="http://www.fox.com/empire" target="_blank">Empire finale</a>, and yet my brain is ignoring my attempts to move on. When this happens the only way to cope is to blog it out.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5aFD0NXrmJ4/VQ8VZHkoHYI/AAAAAAAAA0w/5AJuPK0UdS4/s1600/empire-fox.jpg-618x400.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-5aFD0NXrmJ4/VQ8VZHkoHYI/AAAAAAAAA0w/5AJuPK0UdS4/s1600/empire-fox.jpg-618x400.jpeg" height="256" width="400" /></a>So, this isn't a recap of what happened (if you don't know by now, kudos to your ability to keep your head in the sand) or a deep-dive analysis of what Empire means for <a href="http://www.latimes.com/entertainment/tv/la-et-st-black-audiences-television20150202-story.html#page=1" target="_blank">diversity on television</a> or whether the show is relying on or shattering stereotypes. </div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_T8vZyzfwhk/VQ8Xe2P_s_I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/pG7JOCFStdo/s1600/cookie%2Band%2Banika%2B1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br /></a>These are my thoughts on lessons learned or reinforced through art. In the case of the Empire finale, and really the whole inaugural season, the overarching theme seems to be you can only hurt people for so long before whatever love, affection or respect they had morphs into the ugly cancerous organism known as hate. In other words, folks go from 0 to 100 real quick when pushed one too many times.</div>
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The finale left me feeling some kind of way. Not because there was A LOT going or that the show may not come back until January (time to catch up on <a href="http://abc.go.com/shows/blackish" target="_blank"> black-ish!</a>), but because the brothers, specifically Hakeem and Andre, are setting up themselves for a war with Jamal. Just a couple of episodes ago, the brothers came together for Andre during his breakdown. Now, they're probably going to break any brotherly bonds they have left. Why? Because they, along with Cookie and Anika, hate Lucious with a capital H.</div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tRepx1LKkrA/VQ8Va-monAI/AAAAAAAAA1A/Fm-yvLv69Ic/s1600/EMP_FASHION_LUCIOUS_LYON_LOOK_1280x720_378476099751.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-tRepx1LKkrA/VQ8Va-monAI/AAAAAAAAA1A/Fm-yvLv69Ic/s1600/EMP_FASHION_LUCIOUS_LYON_LOOK_1280x720_378476099751.jpeg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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Loathing Lucious is totally understandable. Let's recap:</div>
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<b>Anika</b>: Loved Lucious, despite being cheated on multiple times before Cookie even showed up; Accepted his marriage proposal only to walk in on Lucious taking a bite of Cookie's cookies; Still believed they had a future together before finding out Lucious lied about going back to the cookie jar.</div>
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<b>Cookie</b>: Lawd, do we need to even discuss this? "17 years, bitch!" Yep, that pretty much sums it up. Oh, and all the harm Lucious has done to her children, firing her from the company because she dared to explore a relationship with Malcom, killing her cousin, Bunkie ,...you know, that ish. </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iMwexJ79zok/VQ8VZ__XJfI/AAAAAAAAA00/gQ47KL9sabo/s1600/EMPIRE-outtake-03.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-iMwexJ79zok/VQ8VZ__XJfI/AAAAAAAAA00/gQ47KL9sabo/s1600/EMPIRE-outtake-03.jpeg" height="197" width="320" /></a><b>Hakeem</b>: He seems to be operating from two wells of hate: He hates his father for sending away the woman he loved and hates Camilla for what he thinks she did (she didn't actually take the money). He also resents being controlled like he's a puppet instead of a young adult, as spoiled and bratty as he may be. Annnnddddd...Lucious promised him the "kingdom" that ultimately went to Jamal.</div>
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<b>Andre</b>: Poor Andre. While Jamal got the worst of it physically (being beaten and thrown in the trash can for being gay), Andre got the worst of it mentally and emotionally. On one hand you've got mental illness and a father that refuses to acknowledge it. Don't forget that after Andre's second psychotic break, Lucious doesn't even bother to visit him at the clinic, even at Cookie's insistence. Being a loving father is clearly not a Lucious Lyon strength. </div>
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Then, despite the fact that Andre is smart and developed business acumen in the absence of musical talents, it still isn't good enough for Lucious who sees making music as life's only purpose (uh, OK). Because Andre is not musically inclined, he's ignored by his family and put in a chief financial officer box that he desperately wants to escape. Add to this the fact that Lucious tells him he was never in contention to run the company because he brought a white woman into the family. Andre knows this is BS, and is so devastated that the company he poured his heart and soul into will never be his that he attempts suicide. And then, when Andre tries to forge his own path and get close to God, Lucious sabotages his efforts by offering his spiritual mentor, Michelle, a record contract. Y'all, Andre has been through it!!</div>
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Yeah, Lucious tried to apologize when he found out he wasn't dying with jets, money for foundations and whatnot, but those were material gifts that only addressed current transgressions and not the pain that had been building in the brothers from years of Lucious' selfishness and mistreatment. Once Jamal got the Empire Hakeem and Andre's pain took it's final turn into hate, and the rest is Empire history. </div>
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Hakeem said it best after <a href="http://www.buzzfeed.com/iramadison/if-you-want-a-rematch-just-whistle-if-you-can#.fnW3AZR2p" target="_blank">the epic Cookie/Anika catfight</a>: "We're all here because we hate the same man." That's powerful. Andre, Hakeem and Cookie each stated their desire for Lucious to die at various times in the finale. That's heavy, heartbreaking and horrific. But..Andre, Hakeem, Cookie and Anika are all operating out of a profound sense of hurt and loss. They've been pushed too far, and now the cancer has spread </div>
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Even though these are fictional TV characters, seeing these dynamics play out on screen resonated with me because I've been pushed to the brink of hate with some of my family members and people I trusted. Fortunately I didn't stay there, but I understand how a person can get to that place and take up residence. </div>
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As a Christian, I know hating someone is not godly. I also know that hurt people, hurt people. I've done it and have had it done to me. But, I'm constantly trying not to be the person that causes hurt in the lives of others, especially family and friends. I fall short, but I'm trying. I'm also trying to be more forgiving and more decisive in separating myself from people and situations that aren't good for me. I ain't trying to be like the Lyons. </div>
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OK, now that I've gotten all deep about a TV show, let's have fun and make some predictions for Empire Season 2:</div>
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_T8vZyzfwhk/VQ8Xe2P_s_I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/pG7JOCFStdo/s1600/cookie%2Band%2Banika%2B1.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-_T8vZyzfwhk/VQ8Xe2P_s_I/AAAAAAAAA1Q/pG7JOCFStdo/s1600/cookie%2Band%2Banika%2B1.gif" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
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<li>Without Vernon, Lucious will get out of jail. Duh!!</li>
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<li>Once free, Lucifer, I mean Lucious, will be so hell bent on revenge that he'll actually try to kill at least one of his sons. After all Lucious did say during his hallucination, "I kill anyone who crosses me."</li>
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<li>Lucious' real name is Dwight Walker, and it will mean something for eveyone involved. </li>
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<li>The hostile take over will blow up in everyone's face, and the family will lose the company.</li>
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<li>Jamal's hookup with Ryan in Lucious' office will have negative consequences for him and the company.</li>
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<li>Tension between Jamal and Andre will grow and may lead to another physical confrontation. </li>
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<li>Rhonda's real reason for telling Andre not to call the police will be revealed, and it won't be pretty. </li>
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<li>Somebody else will die in the season 2 finale.</li>
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What are your predictions?<br />
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Lemme know in the comments and stay random,<br />
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Jay</div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-5401660631829149372015-01-15T15:41:00.001-05:002015-01-15T15:51:00.413-05:00The Selma Snub: Why Dismissing DuVernay is a Deal Breaker<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Indulge me for a sec....</span><br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3zoPo_eSO8k/VLgl5PVZLqI/AAAAAAAAAzM/q0Ek0VocH5A/s1600/ava.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3zoPo_eSO8k/VLgl5PVZLqI/AAAAAAAAAzM/q0Ek0VocH5A/s1600/ava.jpg" height="224" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Today has been...interesting to say the least. On one hand it's a day to remember and reflect on the legacy of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr, who was born on this day in 1929. For sorors of <a href="http://www.aka1908.com/" target="_blank">Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority, Incorporated</a>, it's a day to celebrate our 107 years of sisterhood and service. On the other hand, <a href="http://www.selmamovie.com/" target="_blank">the amazing film, Selma,</a> directed by <a href="https://twitter.com/AVAETC" target="_blank">Soror </a></span><a href="https://twitter.com/AVAETC" target="_blank">Ava DuVernay</a><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> about the King-led Selma marches was snubbed by Oscars thanks to a well-orchestrated smear campaign cr</span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">eated by people mad at the fact that LBJ wasn't positioned as the hero of the film. Yes, Selma got Best Picture and Best Original Song nods, but <a href="http://www.forbes.com/sites/scottmendelson/2015/01/15/why-ava-duvernays-selma-oscar-snub-matters/" target="_blank">DuVernay and David Oyelowo weren't recognized for their extraordinary work. If you've seen <span style="color: #3b5998;"><span style="cursor: pointer;">Selma</span></span>, you know why this is a PROBLEM.</a> </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Basically, DuVernay and Oyelowo were punished for not making a white savior movie. <a href="http://blogs.indiewire.com/theplaylist/i-wasnt-interested-in-making-a-white-savior-movie-ava-duvernay-talks-selma-plus-new-clip-8-featurettes-20150107" target="_blank">Ava said she wasn't interested in this well-worn path, and apparently being apologetic about it is a no-no</a>. Let that sink in for a minute. God forbid that Black people actually save and empower themselves on screen...and in real life. Jan. 15, an interesting day indeed. </span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Say no to the white savior-loving Oscars and stay random,</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><br /></span>
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">Jay</span><br />
<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-70746371362558133092014-12-04T01:51:00.000-05:002014-12-04T01:53:08.203-05:00I Can't Breathe. We Can't Breathe: Indict the System that Killed Eric Garner<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PSzKsQ1xIyA/VH_9QgJqs2I/AAAAAAAAAyE/zYmO_n7KoH8/s1600/murder3.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-PSzKsQ1xIyA/VH_9QgJqs2I/AAAAAAAAAyE/zYmO_n7KoH8/s1600/murder3.jpg" height="225" width="400" /></a></div>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">What can I say about the lack of indictments in the murders of Eric Garner and Michael Brown that hasn't already been said? We live in such a sick and hateful society that <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/12/04/nyregion/grand-jury-said-to-bring-no-charges-in-staten-island-chokehold-death-of-eric-garner.html?hp&action=click&pgtype=Homepage&module=a-lede-package-region&region=top-news&WT.nav=top-news&_r=0" target="_blank">a father of six can be killed on camera and a grand jury can still decide to believe the murderer's lies rather than the video's veracity.</a></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">All because the hatred and fear of Black flesh is so deeply ingrained in the hearts, minds, systems and power structures of this country that Black lives simply don't matter. I don't know how we're going to overcome this, but after these recent events all I know for sure is that: </span><br />
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<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ct9D_AUHgHU/VIAD_kaQS6I/AAAAAAAAAyc/1B7VVWnAmZk/s1600/I%2Bcan't%2BBreathe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ct9D_AUHgHU/VIAD_kaQS6I/AAAAAAAAAyc/1B7VVWnAmZk/s1600/I%2Bcan't%2BBreathe.jpg" height="196" width="320" /></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><u><span class="_58cm">How To Get Away With Murder</span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"> is not </span></u></b><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><b><u>just a TV show</u></b>. I mean how do you <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/opinion/eric-garner-decision-gross-miscarriage-justice-article-1.2032278" target="_blank">not indict when you have the video evidence right in front of you?</a> How do you not indict when the medical examiner rules the death a HOMICIDE? Eric Garner didn't resist and repeatedly said "I can't breathe!" after being placed in an illegal chokehold. HOW DO YOU NOT INDICT?!! It's simple: Racism. White Supremacy. Indifference. Malice. Pick as many as you want. They all fit. </span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span></span>
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-i1mSs0Rxi2w/VIABOc3sReI/AAAAAAAAAyQ/Ph4LsxgeLKU/s1600/eric_garner_2-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ct9D_AUHgHU/VIAD_kaQS6I/AAAAAAAAAyc/1B7VVWnAmZk/s1600/I%2Bcan%27t%2BBreathe.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><b><u>Words Matter. Use Them Wisely</u></b>. President Obama is often caught between a rock and a hard place when it comes to speaking about race. Additionally, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">his perspective on race, no doubt shaped by </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">his unique upbringing, has frustrated many who want him to speak truth to power about police brutality and the lack of law enforcement accountability. Many Black people want Obama to go Malcom X and condemn the police for their criminality. <a href="http://www.nola.com/opinions/index.ssf/2014/11/ferguson_response_shows_how_ba.html" target="_blank">However, his lukewarm responses to the Michael Brown non-indictment are proof that we will probably NEVER get the "race man" that some of us hoped for. </a>With all due respect to our president, who is disrespected constantly for the crime of being a Black man, if he won't call this thing what it is, then I'd rather he not say anything else on the matter at all. More action and less talk. A Ferguson-esque speech will absolutely not cut it this time. </span><span class="_58cm" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; text-decoration: none;"><a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/toomanytoname?source=feed_text&story_id=10152442516440718" style="background-color: white; color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; line-height: 19.3199996948242px; text-decoration: none;"></a></span></span><br />
<a href="https://3.bp.blogspot.com/-i1mSs0Rxi2w/VIABOc3sReI/AAAAAAAAAyQ/Ph4LsxgeLKU/s1600/eric_garner_2-01.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-i1mSs0Rxi2w/VIABOc3sReI/AAAAAAAAAyQ/Ph4LsxgeLKU/s1600/eric_garner_2-01.jpg" height="320" width="302" /></span></a><span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><b><u>Out of tragedy comes opportunity</u></b>. If the recent protests prove nothing else, <a href="http://fergusonresponse.tumblr.com/" target="_blank">they show that people are sick and tired of being sick and tired.</a> They hurt and break down piece by piece with every new story that follows the same script: Black. Existing. Shot and Killed. No Accountability. When people are pushed to their limits, they push back with demands for change. That's what these protests are all about. People are listening and change is slowly starting to happen. Too bad it's coming too late to save Eric Garner, Michael Brown, Trayvon Martin and too many others to name. </span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Stay woke,</span><br />
<span style="font-family: Georgia, Times New Roman, serif;">Jay </span><!-- Blogger automated replacement: "https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ct9D_AUHgHU/VIAD_kaQS6I/AAAAAAAAAyc/1B7VVWnAmZk/s1600/I%2Bcan't%2BBreathe.jpg" with "https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-ct9D_AUHgHU/VIAD_kaQS6I/AAAAAAAAAyc/1B7VVWnAmZk/s1600/I%2Bcan't%2BBreathe.jpg" -->
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Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-88341327462410844772014-11-20T17:03:00.000-05:002014-11-20T17:21:48.776-05:003 Reasons Why Bill Cosby’s Downfall Hurts<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N0K129vAiys/VG5jLttqKLI/AAAAAAAAAxg/J8qkaOmN9R8/s1600/bill_cosby_2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-N0K129vAiys/VG5jLttqKLI/AAAAAAAAAxg/J8qkaOmN9R8/s1600/bill_cosby_2.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: "Helvetica Neue",Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">That's a wrap, friend.</span></b></td><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><br /></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
After decades in the public eye and reaching icon status,
77-year-old Bill Cosby <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/news/morning-mix/wp/2014/11/20/cleansing-popular-culture-history-of-all-things-cosby/">is
being erased from popular culture</a> for possibly being a sexual predator. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Some are asking what took so long, given that rape
allegations from more than a dozen women have been around since <a href="http://www.vulture.com/2014/09/timeline-of-the-abuse-charges-against-cosby.html">Andrea
Constand filed a lawsuit against Cosby in 2004 for sexual assault</a>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Thanks to comedian Hannibal Buress calling
Cosby a rapist in a stand-up bit that went viral (because rape allegations are
only taken seriously when a man co-signs them), questions about the rape allegations
were revived, and <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/20/showbiz/bill-cosby-allegations-repercussions/index.html?hpt=hp_t2">Cosby’s
downfall is now just about complete</a>. Others are asking, “Why now?” even
going so far as to suggest illuminati-level conspiracies are at work to “take
down” Cosby.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Here’s what we know: Bill Cosby has never been charged with
a crime, has settled lawsuits brought by his alleged victims and has <a href="http://www.cnn.com/video/data/2.0/video/crime/2014/11/20/nr-sot-cosby-ap-interview-rape-allegations.cnn.html">never
addressed the allegations</a>. However, none of that has stopped Netflix, NBC
and TV Land from abandoning his shows, pulling his reruns and giving other
entities ample reason to keep their distance. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Bill Cosby, up until recently, was considered America’s “dad”
and when dad effs up, it sad and shocking for so many reasons. For example, you
realize that: </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;"> </b></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Bill Cosby really isn’t Cliff Huxtable</b></div>
<br />
The Cosby Show changed the game by
showing African-Americans as something other than the tired stereotypes people
were used to seeing on their TV screens. Also, given that the Huxtables were loosely
based on Cosby’s own family (<a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Ennis_Cosby">Theo,
in particular, was based on Cosby’s only son, Ennis, who was murdered in 1997</a>),
it was hard to separate Cliff the character from Bill Cosby the man. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>The humor, the sweaters, the music…who didn’t
want Cliff Huxtable as their dad, uncle, grandpa or third cousin? But, that’s
why they call it acting, and even though we knew intellectually that Cliff was
a character, many of us put that minor detail aside and got comfy on the couch
on Thursdays to see “dad” do his thing. <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/10/scandal-indeed-olivia-pope-and-her.html">Even
dads can have a dark side.</a><br />
<br />
<b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">When a lot of people who don’t know each
other say the same thing …something in the milk ain’t clean</b><br />
<br />
I try not to take much at face
value, so when allegations seemingly come out of nowhere about someone whose
record is “clean,” the side-eye is automatic with me. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Everybody has skeletons, some obviously more
sinister than others. However, when it comes to serious allegations like sexual
assault, and once the number of accusers starts to grow, you start to wonder: <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>could this person, that I don’t know from a
can of paint, but who I like, admire, etc., based on a carefully crafted image
really be what he or she is accused of? Unfortunately, the answer is sometimes
a resounding “Yes.”<br />
<br />
Take for example former NFL player
Darren Sharper. Who? He played for the Saints and Vikings, is ridiculously
handsome and used to date Gabrielle Union back in the day. <a href="http://www.nola.com/crime/index.ssf/2014/11/darren_sharper_turns_39_in_los.html">He’s
also in jail, accused of drugging and raping multiple women, just like Bill
Cosby.</a> A single accusation is one thing, but when you’ve got multiple women
in different parts of the country saying the same thing...bruh, you did it. Go
directly to jail. Shouldn’t we be saying the same thing about Cosby? See, that’s
where it gets tricky because when it comes to dads or father figures, even
fictional ones, the thought that they could be the opposite of what we believe
to be true is unfathomable, even when the number of accusations and their consistency
say the opposite.<br />
<br />
<span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"></span><b style="mso-bidi-font-weight: normal;">Actions have consequences, even for the
innocent</b><br />
<br />
<div class="MsoNormal">
At this point in time, the women at the center of the Cosby
controversy have been and will continue to go through it. Not only are they
Cosby’s alleged victims, they’ve also been victimized for decades by powerful
people who buried their stories each time they tried to speak their truth and a
public that refused to believe them. They’re also being accused of engaging in
some sort of sinister plot to ruin Cosby. Rape victims either don’t report or
wait to report sexual assaults for various reasons, so stop with all the shaming.
<a href="http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/20/opinion/hill-bill-cosby-case-rape-culture/index.html?hpt=hp_t3">Rape
culture is real, and it’s terrible.</a> </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ab_WwjpSzGQ/VG5j1fCGKxI/AAAAAAAAAxo/IJr7p962FLI/s1600/Cosby%2BShow%2BCast.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-ab_WwjpSzGQ/VG5j1fCGKxI/AAAAAAAAAxo/IJr7p962FLI/s1600/Cosby%2BShow%2BCast.jpg" height="240" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;"><b><span style="font-family: Arial,Helvetica,sans-serif;">Lisa Bonet be knowin'</span></b></td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<div class="MsoNormal">
What’s also terrible is that people that had nothing to do
with Bill Cosby’s alleged crimes will be judged, scrutinized and punished just
for being in his orbit. The cast of the Cosby Show will lose residual income because
of the TV Land decision to pull the reruns. <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2014/11/20/opinion/hill-bill-cosby-case-rape-culture/index.html?hpt=hp_t3">People
will judge and criticize Camille Cosby for staying with Bill Cosby despite the
accusations and known womanizing</a>. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>Supporters
who tried to ignore the allegations <a href="http://www.washingtoncitypaper.com/blogs/citydesk/2014/11/18/bill-cosby-still-gets-free-food-at-bens-chili-bowl/">will
be put on the spot about their relationship with Cosby and whether it will
change</a>. Many people will no longer be able to watch Cosby Show reruns
(wherever they can find them) and their positive depictions of Black love and
family without feeling “icky,” while others will struggle to separate Cosby’s
situation from his sitcom. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
I mean, how can you talk about the greatness and
beauty of The Cosby Show without thinking about the ugliness of the rape
allegations? As such, the legacy of The Cosby Show and its unique place in pop
culture will be either greatly diminished or destroyed because of all this. Basically,
everyone will suffer because “dad” wasn’t who we thought he was. </div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Well, this is what
happens when we put people on pedestals and put fingers in our ears when
someone tries to tell us something we don’t want to hear. How about we stop
doing this so that we won’t be so shocked and hurt the next time this happens?
And best believe, this will happen again.</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Stay random,</div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
Jay</div>
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<br /></div>
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal">
<br /></div>
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<![endif]--><br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-8284505049744801012014-09-08T21:33:00.000-04:002014-09-08T21:50:55.588-04:00Goodell Has Got to Go<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-75PTJtoF7DQ/VA5WIj8wspI/AAAAAAAAAwk/AjpPLXh0u1w/s1600/GoodellMustGo.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-75PTJtoF7DQ/VA5WIj8wspI/AAAAAAAAAwk/AjpPLXh0u1w/s1600/GoodellMustGo.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a><span style="background-color: white; color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">OK, now that I've had time to think about this...Roger "Protect the Shield" Goodell needs to go. It's one thing for a sadistic abuser like Ray Rice to lie and convince himself and his poor wife that what he did was justified. However, for Roger Goodell to 1) <a href="http://deadspin.com/heres-video-of-ray-rice-knocking-out-his-fiancee-in-an-1631864196" target="_blank">see the horrific video</a>, 2) give Rice a slap on the wrist for viciously attacking a woman while talking out of the side of his neck about integrity and codes of conduct, 3) <a href="http://deadspin.com/someone-is-lying-about-whether-the-nfl-saw-the-ray-rice-1631901404" target="_blank">lie to fans, media and everyone about not seeing </a></span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #141823; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;"><a href="http://deadspin.com/someone-is-lying-about-whether-the-nfl-saw-the-ray-rice-1631901404" target="_blank">the full video until today --and just for the record, NO ONE believes that for a second</a> -- 4) and to only do what should have been done MONTHS ago because people finally saw the video takes a special kind of callous indifference towards the women who make up nearly 45% of the NFL fan base. You don't have to punch a woman multiple times like Rice to be a misogynist. In my mind, Goodell is just as twisted as Ray Rice, and if Rice has to go, so should Goodell. Oh, and please <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/prayforjanay?source=feed_text&story_id=10152285478370718" style="color: #3b5998; cursor: pointer; text-decoration: none;"><span class="_58cl" style="color: #6d84b4;">#</span><span class="_58cm">PrayforJanay</span></a> and all women who haven't yet found the strength to get out of abusive situations.</span><br />
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</span> <span style="color: #141823; font-family: Helvetica, Arial, lucida grande, tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="background-color: white; font-size: 14px; line-height: 19.3199996948242px;">P.S. <a href="http://deadspin.com/keith-olbermann-on-roger-goodell-an-enabler-of-men-wh-1632150757" target="_blank">Keith Olbermann told y'all a month ago that Goodell needed to go, y'all didn't want to listen. Will you listen now? </a></span></span> <br />
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<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-88289905020422845692014-08-02T13:59:00.000-04:002014-08-02T13:59:40.341-04:00Quick rant: Brothers, can we talk about your nasty habits?<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P6yOvs9H0kw/U90lTflDHdI/AAAAAAAAAvs/CEz0ErrWrJU/s1600/wtf-bro-you-nasty.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-P6yOvs9H0kw/U90lTflDHdI/AAAAAAAAAvs/CEz0ErrWrJU/s1600/wtf-bro-you-nasty.jpg" height="246" width="320" /></a>First, Happy August! Second, brothers, can we talk? Your public displays of grossness are not acceptable just because you're a man. I know that may come as a shock, but it's true. Hear me out.<br />
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Seriously, all the spitting on the ground, blowing things out of your nose, picking your nose (SERIOUSLY????!!!!) scratching yourself down there, not washing your hands after you take a piss, just STOP IT. STOP. IT. NOW. There's no excuse for it, especially if you're a grown ass man. Yeah, I know that someone, maybe even your parents, told you all the things I'm talking about are just things that men do. While that's unfortunate, I'm here to tell you that somebody lied to you. There is no biological reason you have to be gross in public. Therefore, stop being gross. It's really that simple. <br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sAUhbVHS5_Q/U90l-G2YHgI/AAAAAAAAAv0/Z_7Te8wol7c/s1600/Raven+Nasty.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-sAUhbVHS5_Q/U90l-G2YHgI/AAAAAAAAAv0/Z_7Te8wol7c/s1600/Raven+Nasty.png" height="170" width="200" /></a></div>
We're all going to have to do gross things every now and then because we're human, and there are fascinating yet disgusting things happening in our bodies all the dang time. However the difference between men and women, at least the ones with good home training, is that most women will keep their grossness out of sight. If we absolutely have to do something gross in public, we try our damnedest to do our business quickly and discretely. Men, not so much. Too many of you don't care where you do it or where it lands. Being gross is more than stomach churning, it's disrespectful and unnecessary. It shows how little you care about yourself and those around you. I can't speak for all women, but that kind of selfishness and disregard is not attractive. <br />
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Anywho, glad we could have this chat, and I really hope we don't need to have it again.<br />
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Stay random,<br />
Jay <br />
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<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-66793805050756989572014-06-11T15:44:00.001-04:002014-06-11T15:44:48.384-04:00Chemo, you can take my puff, but you can't take my JOY!<div data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][0]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
<span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[1]">This past weekend, I made the "mistake" of getting a blowout and the flatiron treatment. I say mistake because it's June, and my hair is defenseless again anything over 48% humidity (yes, I check). Anywho, of course my hair stayed straight for about a day before starting its journey toward cotton candy-like puffiness. In the earlier stages of this transition, I actually got </span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[2]">compliments on my thick, puffy hair from colleagues who weren't used to seeing me with anything other than a tightly coiled 'fro. </span></div>
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jv1Xc-tRPHA/U5iw9oqQGLI/AAAAAAAAAu4/dnX5QWJf7LY/s1600/TestimonyTuesdayPic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-Jv1Xc-tRPHA/U5iw9oqQGLI/AAAAAAAAAu4/dnX5QWJf7LY/s1600/TestimonyTuesdayPic.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[2]"><br /></span></div>
<div data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][0]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
<span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[2]">Obviously I appreciated the compliments, but the kind words also made me reflect on a time a few years ago when the chemotherapy I needed to treat my Hodgkins lymphoma took my puff away. </span></div>
<div data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][0]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
<span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[2]">I compensated with hats, wigs and heavier makeup. What a difference three years makes. I don't need hats or wigs, and my hair drives me nuts just like it did before The Big C. Today I'm exceedingly grateful to God to be healthy and in my right mind, puffy hair and all. </span></div>
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<span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[2]">#ButGod </span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[2]" style="background-color: transparent;">WontHeDoIt </span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[3]" style="background-color: transparent;">#Survivor</span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[4]" style="background-color: transparent;"> </span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[5]" style="background-color: transparent;">#TeamNatural</span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[6]" style="background-color: transparent;"> </span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[7]" style="background-color: transparent;">#IamNotMyHair</span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[8]" style="background-color: transparent;"> </span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[9]" style="background-color: transparent;">#Grateful </span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[10]" style="background-color: transparent;"></span><span data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][1].[11]" style="background-color: transparent;">#EffCancer</span></div>
<div data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][0]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
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Stay random, and don't let anything take your joy, including cancer and chemotherapy,</div>
<div data-reactid=".r[4].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[2][0]" style="background-color: #fefefe; color: #222222; font-family: proxima-nova, 'Helvetica Neue', Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 20px;">
Jay</div>
Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com5tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-47859248119333147502014-06-05T16:47:00.003-04:002014-06-05T23:01:35.668-04:00Think Like A Man Too: How ESSENCE Got it Right and Some of Y'all Negroes Got it Wrong<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ujw9pbNlVzk/U5DTRtPVLzI/AAAAAAAAAuM/G9uerPVwoeA/s1600/think+like+a+man+too.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ujw9pbNlVzk/U5DTRtPVLzI/AAAAAAAAAuM/G9uerPVwoeA/s1600/think+like+a+man+too.jpg" height="200" width="134" /></a>Sorry for taking such a long break, but life happens. Anywho, let's get into the latest foolishness, shall we?<br />
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I'm looking forward to seeing <a href="http://thinklikeamantoo.tumblr.com/">Think Like a Man Too</a>, but I'm seriously considering giving up reading anything about the movie on social media because the more I'm online, the more I'm starting to realize why we as Black folks can't advance as a people. Case in point: A lot of Black people are mad about Black people being on the cover of ESSENCE. Yes, I'm serious.<br />
<br />
Let me explain. So I'm scrolling through Instagram when I see pics of ESSENCE's July double cover featuring the cast of Think Like a Man Too.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3p_pAjPxsUk/U5DNmpmT8wI/AAAAAAAAAuA/ZjTHEMbrD-o/s1600/240x340_cover.gif" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-3p_pAjPxsUk/U5DNmpmT8wI/AAAAAAAAAuA/ZjTHEMbrD-o/s1600/240x340_cover.gif" height="320" width="225" /></a></div>
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Lovely covers, right? Well, apparently a lot of people, most of them Black, were in their feelings about the exclusion of non-Black cast members Gary Owen and Jerry Ferrara and vented about it on <a href="http://instagram.com/essencemag#">ESSENCE's Intstagram account. </a>Here's sampling of what I consider to be bewildering comments: <br />
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<![endif]--><i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://instagram.com/iamtyrenee"><span style="color: blue;">iamtyrenee</span></a>
<a href="http://instagram.com/zonia0087"><span style="color: blue;">@zonia0087</span></a>you're grossly misguided! So if Vanity Fair or some other mainstream
"white" magazine featured a movie with a diverse cast on the cover
but EXCLUDED all the black people, would you be okay with that? Segregation is
a two way street and Essence who constantly preaches "inclusion"
should be called out for this huge omission....</span></i></div>
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<br /></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://instagram.com/marissaexplainsitall_"><span style="color: blue;"></span></a><a href="http://instagram.com/lordkaey"><span style="color: blue;"></span></a></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"> <a href="http://instagram.com/kbranche"><span style="color: blue;">kbranche</span></a>
This cover needs to be done over to include <a href="http://instagram.com/jerrycferrara"><span style="color: blue;">@jerrycferrara</span></a>
and <a href="http://instagram.com/garyowencomedy"><span style="color: blue;">@garyowencomedy</span></a>.
Shameful!</span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://instagram.com/lowen_jay"><span style="color: blue;"></span></a></span></i></div>
<i>
</i><br />
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<br /></div>
<div class="MsoNormal" style="line-height: normal; margin-bottom: .0001pt; margin-bottom: 0in;">
<i><span style="font-family: "Times New Roman","serif"; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman";"><a href="http://instagram.com/aakeynnsnillocshow"><span style="color: blue;">aakeynnsnillocshow</span></a>
<a href="http://instagram.com/essencemag"><span style="color: blue;">@essencemag</span></a>
that's made shade for excluding the whites</span></i></div>
<br />
<br />
<br />
I saw <a href="http://necolebitchie.com/2014/06/the-men-of-think-like-a-man-too-cover-essence-magazine/">similar comments on another entertainment blog</a>. Um, to the folks that actually have an issue with the cover featuring the fellas: Y<span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[0]">ou do realize that </span><a href="http://www.essence.com/">ESSENCE</a> <span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[2]">is a magazine that caters to BLACK women, right? God forbid a
Black magazine highlights Black people on the cover, like it does EVERY
MONTH. This isn't Entertainment Weekly or People. ESSENCE is not obligated to highlight every non-Black cast member in a movie, TV show, etc., given it's purpose and audience.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nL2gezwaF2s/U5DWS7tcFzI/AAAAAAAAAuk/-VvigyXt8HQ/s1600/o-HOLLYWOOD-REPORTER-570.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-nL2gezwaF2s/U5DWS7tcFzI/AAAAAAAAAuk/-VvigyXt8HQ/s1600/o-HOLLYWOOD-REPORTER-570.jpg" height="200" width="149" /></a><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[2]">Mainstream media outlets do an outstanding job of excluding us on the regular, so the fact that we have magazines, blogs and other outlets that highlight our beauty and accomplishments is something to celebrated, not the other way around. Criticize the content of Black mags? Sure, but getting upset because they didn't include a white person you like in a movie on the cover? Nah, bruh. That ish does not compute. I wish Ebony, ESSENCE, Uptown, etc. would put some white folks on their covers. I would be tight and if you had a sense of history and understood the power of media imagery, you would be too. </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[2]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[5]">I seriously doubt that media outlets geared toward other people of color worry about
highlighting anyone else other then their own.</span></span></span>
Maybe I'm reaching, but these seemingly unimportant comments on
Instagram bother me because it reveals a deep-seated need
for white approval and validation. In other words, some of us want white
approval so bad that we'll fight and fuss for white inclusion in "our
stuff" in the name of diversity when we aren't extended the same
courtesy. Seriously, what world are some of y'all living in? That post-racial one? You do realize that world doesn't exist, right? <a href="http://www.ebony.com/news-views/post-racial-millenials-994#axzz33nZQMEKD">If you don't, then you haven't been paying attention.</a> </span><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[4]"> </span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[4]">I really hope ESSENCE doesn't address this foolishness and doesn't change the way they use their covers to highlight beautiful
BLACK people. As for the rest of you, quit worrying about
white people. They will be OK and don't need you to fight their "battles." </span><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[5]">TRUST.</span></span></span><br />
<br />
<span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0]"><span data-reactid=".r[2].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[0].[1].[1].[0].[1].[0].{736300413943756645}[0].[1].[2][0].[5]"></span></span></span><br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RvYdBHSTma8/U5DVTFz5gJI/AAAAAAAAAuc/s3_xec_u54Q/s1600/think-like-a-man-too-essence-cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RvYdBHSTma8/U5DVTFz5gJI/AAAAAAAAAuc/s3_xec_u54Q/s1600/think-like-a-man-too-essence-cover.jpg" height="320" width="240" /></a>Ironically, I got the ESSENCE cover with the TLAM2 ladies today in the mail. I would have preferred the version with the guys. <br />
<br />
Stay random,<br />
<br />
JayJayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-60758078204609918412014-04-30T01:51:00.001-04:002014-04-30T01:51:02.009-04:00Adam Silver did the right thing, but he's no hero<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mp4EVqiT5ys/U2CIjKf_ITI/AAAAAAAAAtY/Z0rc_4EDLE4/s1600/nba_adam_silver_full_sterling_presser.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Mp4EVqiT5ys/U2CIjKf_ITI/AAAAAAAAAtY/Z0rc_4EDLE4/s1600/nba_adam_silver_full_sterling_presser.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">So NBA Commissioner Adam Silver <a href="http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/10857580/donald-sterling-los-angeles-clippers-owner-receives-life-ban-nba" target="_blank">brought the hammer down</a> on Donald Sterling. <a href="http://mashable.com/2014/04/29/warriors-protest-sterling/" target="_blank">Boycotts were averted</a> and we can all get back to enjoying the NBA playoffs, right? I guess, but while I understand why everyone is applauding Adam Silver, let's not forget that he was former NBA Commissioner David Stern's deputy. He's been with the NBA since 1992, so he's known about Sterling's ugly racist ways for a loooonnnnggg time. He bears a certain amount of responsibility for this mess. </span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Let's not forget that Chris Paul, the key to the Clippers recent success, originally wanted to play for the Lakers, but couldn't because David Stern forced Paul to the Clippers, essentially rewarding Sterling's deplorable behavior. Don't get me wrong, I'm glad Silver took a hard line against Sterling, but heaping all this praise on him still doesn't feel quite right given his long tenure with the NBA. Oh, and if the NBA is successful in forcing Sterling to sell the team, <a href="http://money.cnn.com/2014/04/29/news/companies/sterling-clippers-finances/index.html?hpt=hp_t2" target="_blank">he'll make at least $575 million,</a> if not A LOT more, so forgive me if I don't rejoice about a truly awful human being making an enormous return on investment. Yeah, this still all feels kinda <a href="http://thegrio.com/2014/04/29/donald-sterling-banned-life/" target="_blank">off to me</a>, but I'm glad something was finally done.</span><br />
<br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Also, if you think Sterling's racism just impacts basketball, allow ESPN's Bomani Jones to disabuse of that notion. In this radio segment, Bomani breaks it down to the WHITE MEAT why Sterling's housing discrimination cases are far more sinister. </span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/g6bLKe9-Mto?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"></span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Yes, the awful, gross racist is gone, so to speak, but if this is a victory, <a href="http://thegrio.com/2014/04/29/donald-sterling-banned-life/" target="_blank">it rings hollow</a>. What's more important is what happens <a href="http://espn.go.com/nba/story/_/id/10858183/adam-silver-makes-strong-statement" target="_blank">moving forward</a>.</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}"><br /></span>
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Stay random,</span><br />
<span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Jay</span><br />
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<br />
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<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-75387300418498289292014-04-27T13:11:00.001-04:002014-04-27T16:44:38.841-04:00Donald Sterling is awful and so are the LA Clippers<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-v7AeInHdCYA/U103EECzBlI/AAAAAAAAAs8/hycD-CYnnig/s1600/ChrisPaul.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-v7AeInHdCYA/U103EECzBlI/AAAAAAAAAs8/hycD-CYnnig/s1600/ChrisPaul.jpg" height="400" width="400" /></a></div>
<br />
<b>UPDATE: </b>So the Clippers took <a href="http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2043532-clippers-players-hold-protest-by-wearing-team-shirts-inside-out-for-warm-ups" target="_blank">the subtle route</a> today in taking a stand against their racist owner after supposedly nixing the idea of any kind of protest<a href="http://www.latimes.com/sports/la-sp-nba-sterling-clippers-20140427,0,5276359.story#axzz306hrlyMH" target="_blank"> because they didn't want to look like radicals.</a><br />
I'm still calling weak sauce on this and here's why: <br />
<br />
<a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/posttv/national/obama-calls-clippers-owners-comments-ignorant/2014/04/27/b8094cff-ec15-47c5-8c22-3a8bed5f4487_video.html" target="_blank">Everybody</a> (President Obama, Lebron and even Michael Jordan) is rightfully condemning LA Clippers owner and legendary racist Donald "Massa Epps" Sterling for his latest bigoted ramblings and <a href="http://www.vox.com/2014/4/26/5655790/sterling-q-a" target="_blank">the NBA for tolerating his history of hatefulness</a>. But you know who else deserves some scorn? The men who play for the LA Clippers, especially Chris Paul, Blake Griffin and Deandre Jordan, as well as their coach, Doc Rivers.<br />
<br />
Why the scorn for the players who just seem to be caught in the cross hairs? <a href="http://espn.go.com/los-angeles/nba/story/_/id/10844878/los-angeles-clippers-meet-discuss-alleged-donald-sterling-comments-consider-boycott" target="_blank">Because they had an opportunity to stand against Sterling's vitriol and send a message to the NBA and the world that people like Donald Sterling have no place in the NBA in 2014.</a> A stand by the Clippers could have been the catalyst for removing the cancer that Donald Sterling is and always will be from ownership of the team. They could have boycotted the game they're playing today against the Golden State Warriors, but according to various reports and interviews with Clips coach Doc Rivers, that idea was quickly dismissed during a team meeting when the story broke on Friday night. It's not like the NBA couldn't reschedule a game or two, but the players gave the NBA a pass, the same league that put Sterling in a position of power in the first place. All the Clippers want to do is play basketball.<br />
<br />
I'm sorry, but just wanting to keep your head down and play basketball is the mentality of a child, and the last time I checked, the Clippers roster is composed of men in the their 20s and 30s. By not using their collective power to affect positive change for their team and the NBA, the Clippers have basically said that as long as they get their millions and the Larry O'Brien trophy, nothing else matters, not dignity, not self-respect, not being able to look their children in the eye and say that daddy thought about more than just himself when he had the opportunity. Without protests, boycotts, civil disobedience, etc., the Civil Rights Movement wouldn't have happened, and I shudder to think where we would be without it. However, I guess the Clippers missed those lessons in school because all they want to do is play basketball.<br />
<br />
The picture above has been making the rounds recently and while tragically funny, it also takes on a new meaning, at least for me, when I digest this ridiculous situation: At least Solomon wanted to be free from Massa Epps. It's hard to read the Clippers' feelings about their plantation owner.<br />
<br />
<br />
Stay random,<br />
Jay <br />
<br />
<table align="center" cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto; text-align: center;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uhrsumwo-Bk/U103SJN-0DI/AAAAAAAAAtE/pYtlZ_D7wp0/s1600/Athletes+with+substance.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-uhrsumwo-Bk/U103SJN-0DI/AAAAAAAAAtE/pYtlZ_D7wp0/s1600/Athletes+with+substance.jpg" height="303" width="400" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">Back in the day</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-56489138239662050502014-04-21T16:33:00.000-04:002014-04-22T09:40:08.057-04:00Scandal Indeed: Thoughts on Season 3 and Sociopathic PopesSo another <a href="http://www.tvguide.com/news/exclusive-dourdan-neal-8149.aspx" target="_blank">Scandal season has come and gone</a>, and I don't know about you, but I'm feeling some kind of way about and not necessarily a warm and fuzzy way. Let's get into it, shall we?<br />
<br />
<b>Return of the Mack</b><br />
<br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
</div>
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uQPDTaMU7KM/U1Zw8HHW15I/AAAAAAAAAso/gOPTvN2WiSU/s1600/itshandled.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-uQPDTaMU7KM/U1Zw8HHW15I/AAAAAAAAAso/gOPTvN2WiSU/s1600/itshandled.jpg" height="320" width="201" /></a>In previous Scandal seasons, Olivia was a professional badass fixer even though she was a hot mess in her personal life (You know, having an affair with the president will do that to a girl). In three seasons we went from "It's handled," to "I thought it was handled, but it wasn't and now I've created an even bigger mess." I rebuke this weak, confused, unsure Olivia and beg Shonda Rhimes to fix this (see what I did there) because this Olivia is asking for a "snap out it" slap and a channel change if she doesn't get her ish together.<br />
<br />
<br />
Remember when Olivia did her job and did it well? Remember when she fixed things for folks other than Fitz and his needy, selfish behind? Bring back new clients and the Olivia we know and love. Fix it Jesus!<br />
<br />
<b>Parents Just Don't Understand...That Murder Isn't Always the Answer</b><br />
<br />
It must be very, uh....interesting to have parents who who kill people unnecessarily to protect you and give you what you think you want. However, then you have to admit your parents are sociopaths and that's a bit of a sticky wicket. <br />
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cXqltM9YRJg/U1V3Y-LA66I/AAAAAAAAArw/pHwqcaLKMMc/s1600/daddypopepic.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-cXqltM9YRJg/U1V3Y-LA66I/AAAAAAAAArw/pHwqcaLKMMc/s1600/daddypopepic.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a></div>
<br />
Papa and Mama Pope (bravo <a href="https://twitter.com/JOEtheMORTON" target="_blank">Joe Morton</a> and <a href="http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Khandi_Alexander" target="_blank">Khandi Alexander!</a>) were not here for Fitz treating their daughter like a used dishrag, so they joined forces to teach Fitz that there's a price for a free and fair election and to get him away from their daughter. All they had to do was blow up a few things and kill some folks, including Fitz's oldest son (or brother, depending on who you believe) on national TV on the eve of the election. After all, in Papa Pope's world "He took my child so I took his," is a totally reasonable rationale. Oh, and let's not forget Papa Pope also wasn't having it when Fitz took his other "child," B613, when he made Jake Command, so Papa Pope had to let everyone know who was really in charge. Ladies and gentlemen, when someone tells you,<a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/10/scandal-indeed-olivia-pope-and-her.html" target="_blank"> "I am the hell and the high water," </a>believe them. <br />
<br />
<b>Is Olitz Over?</b><br />
<br />
One of the major bright spots in the season 3 finale was the pumping of brakes on Olivia and Fitz's torturous love affair, or as the kids call them, Olitz. <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2012/12/scandal-indeed-am-i-really-rooting-for.html" target="_blank">In the beginning</a> these two had so much passion and chemistry that it was hard not root for them despite all the adultery. However, as the seasons rolled on, we got to see Fitz in all his awfulness and the havoc it was wreaking on Olivia. That, and the fact that <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/11/scandal-indeed-has-shonda-rhimes-gone.html" target="_blank">Mellie became a lot more sympathetic this season </a>, the Olitz relationship drama just got tedious and frustrating. <br />
<br />
Now that Olivia has left D.C. to stand in the sun with Jake, let's hope that we won't have to hear anything about Fitz and Liv making jam in Vermont for a looonnnggg time. These two need a break. Not the <a href="http://www.missjia.com/2014/01/02/celebrities-relationship-breaks-gabby-dwyane-wade-ludacris-eudoxie/" target="_blank">D.Wade/Ludacris have a baby with another broad type of break</a>, but a significant time out is definitely in order. <br />
<br />
<b>Quinn. Gotta. Die. (But Harrison will probably be the one)</b><br />
<br />
<u>Confession time</u>: I've NEVER liked the Quinn character. She was annoying and stupid when she didn't know her name was Lindsey and she hasn't changed during her time with B613 and her return (?) to Pope & Associates. She's like the bothersome little gnat that you just can't kill no matter how many times you clap your hands in the air. Oh, and let's not forget those gross sex scenes with Huck. Lawd. Now that Quinn has located Huck's ridiculously attractive family, one can only hope that Quinn has outlived her usefulness and will go be annoying somewhere else.<br />
<br />
<table cellpadding="0" cellspacing="0" class="tr-caption-container" style="float: right; margin-left: 1em; text-align: right;"><tbody>
<tr><td style="text-align: center;"><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vCXYsEgCaRs/U1Ztim8FRvI/AAAAAAAAAsc/N29AOJB33fo/s1600/RIP+HARRISON.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: auto; margin-right: auto;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-vCXYsEgCaRs/U1Ztim8FRvI/AAAAAAAAAsc/N29AOJB33fo/s1600/RIP+HARRISON.jpg" height="212" width="320" /></a></td></tr>
<tr><td class="tr-caption" style="text-align: center;">RIP Harrison...Maybe?</td></tr>
</tbody></table>
And while we're talking about characters that may or may not bite the big one, let's look at the situation with ya boy Harrison. I concur with other folks who say that the season finale was written the way it was for a reason. Shonda and co. probably didn't intend to kill him off, but with <a href="http://thegrio.com/2014/04/17/columbus-short-wife-scandal-star-threatened-to-kill-me-kill-himself/" target="_blank">Columbus Short acting a MONKEY FOOL</a>, it looks like Shonda gave herself room to ax his character if he doesn't deal with his demons.<br />
<br />
I really need these Black actors to get it together. Have we learned nothing from <a href="http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/tv-movies/isaiah-washington-returns-grey-anatomy-fired-anti-gay-slurs-article-1.1713793" target="_blank">Isaiah Washington</a> or <a href="http://www.tvguide.com/news/exclusive-dourdan-neal-8149.aspx" target="_blank">Gary Dourdan</a>, two actors who screwed up the best TV jobs they were ever going to have for some mess (Isaiah's case was a little different, but you get my point)? I learned from it, and I'm not an actor. On the real, Columbus needs help and hopefully he'll get it before he hurts himself or someone else. <br />
<br />
Anywho, that's my rant about Scandal, and I'm sticking to it. While enjoyable at times, this season strayed from a winning formula, and one can only hope that Queen Shonda realizes this and gets back to basics.<br />
<br />
Stay random,<br />
<br />
JayJayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-66003377346907760022014-04-19T14:30:00.002-04:002014-04-22T09:37:48.833-04:00Love and Basketball, Character Assassination and Football<!--[if gte mso 9]><xml>
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</xml><![endif]--><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JHSJxG3MZOA/U1K___A0X7I/AAAAAAAAArU/P7yrlZ4Oabg/s1600/Kaepernick-desean-jackson.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-JHSJxG3MZOA/U1K___A0X7I/AAAAAAAAArU/P7yrlZ4Oabg/s1600/Kaepernick-desean-jackson.jpg" height="320" width="320" /></a>
What do <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/10/have-light-skinned-brothers-finally.html">Colin
Kaepernick</a> and DeSean Jackson have in common? Oh, just a little character
assassination that will color the public perception of both men for the foreseeable
future.<br />
<br />
By now you've heard that CK, along with fellow 49er Quitton Patton and
Seahawk player (and former 49er) Ricardo Lockette are being investigated for a <a href="https://www.blogger.com/bleacherreport.com/articles/2028231-espn-uses-street-clothes-photo-of-kaepernick-then-decides-otherwise?search_query=colin%20kaepernick">"suspicious
incident" in Miami</a> that involved a young woman partying with the
players, possibly getting high and drunk, supposedly making out with Kaepernick
and waking up in the hospital with no recollection of how she got there. Scary
and serious stuff to be sure. While there still isn't a complete picture of
what happened, <a href="http://www.sacbee.com/2014/04/18/6336297/miami-police-dont-believe-kaepernick.html">new
reports show that Lockette called police twice because the woman refused to
leave and that CK probably wasn't there when all this confusing craziness went
down</a>. Furthermore, the woman maintained in her incident report that she did
NOT have sex with Kaepernick. <br />
<br />
Unfortunately this little fact didn't stop the sleaziness that is TMZ (no, I’m
not linking to their mess for obvious reasons) and other media outlets<a href="http://deadspin.com/espn-uses-street-clothes-photo-of-kaepernick-then-de-1562555999">,
including ESPN</a>, from running with a sexual assault angle in the initial
reporting. When I first heard about story, I cringed because I didn't want a
player that I liked to be another <a href="http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4970050">Big Ben</a> or <a href="http://bleacherreport.com/articles/2013700-who-is-darren-sharper-date-rape-allegations-raise-serious-questions">Darren
Sharper</a>, football players who have been accused of and/or charged with sexual
misconduct and sexually assaulting multiple women. However, I waited before
jumping to conclusions, and I'm glad I did. As more information starts to
trickle out, it looks like no sexual assault took place and that CK, in
particular, did nothing wrong.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8QiBeqMwLio/U1K_egxMBuI/AAAAAAAAArM/oLoBIdXVodI/s1600/ColinKCamptaylor.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-8QiBeqMwLio/U1K_egxMBuI/AAAAAAAAArM/oLoBIdXVodI/s1600/ColinKCamptaylor.jpeg" height="320" width="284" /></a>While this is good news and all, I'm still annoyed. Thanks to the interwebs,
from now on whenever you google Colin Kaepernick this story will come up or be mentioned
in other stories. This is remarkably unfair given how connected we all are by
social media, a sticky web where a whisper can blow up in a matter of minutes
and destroy livelihoods and reputations, whether deserved or not. This is
especially true in the case of rape or sexual assault, because once it's out
there, true or false, you can't unring that bell. Case in point: Just
the idea that CK was involved in something suspect is <a href="http://www.cbssports.com/nfl/eye-on-football/24531115/report-49ers-put-colin-kaepernick-contract-talks-on-hold">messing
with his money</a>. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PLwaSJKz-Vs/U1K-VEP2v_I/AAAAAAAAAq8/wWF9QXEYZwM/s1600/espnapi_dm_140404_nfl_desean_jackson_convo_wmain.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-PLwaSJKz-Vs/U1K-VEP2v_I/AAAAAAAAAq8/wWF9QXEYZwM/s1600/espnapi_dm_140404_nfl_desean_jackson_convo_wmain.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a>Now let's talk about DeSean Jackson. Even though Jackson had one of his best
seasons statistically in 2013, <a href="http://www.philadelphiaeagles.com/news/article-1/Eagles-Release-WR-DeSean-Jackson/fbc919dd-eb59-4eec-a8e6-2a086c874d76" target="_blank">the Eagles cut him in March</a>, and he subsequently signed
with Washington. In fact, Jackson was cut less than an hour after <a href="http://www.nj.com/eagles/index.ssf/2014/04/desean_jackson_eagles_1.html">a
story revealing his association with gang members and the LAPD’s efforts to
reach out to him about gang-related murders since 2010.</a> Jackson was never a
suspect or person of interest, police said, but he was connected to people
involved and police wanted to interview him. The Eagles were all too happy to
let their concerns about Jackson’s “gang ties” bleed into the gang banger media
narrative, and the rest is history. Bell rung. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span>While some have speculated that he was cut
because of friction with the new coach Chip Kelly and a diva-like attitude in
the locker room, it’s not hard to see the gang story having an impact. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
<br />
So, why is Jackson hanging with gang bangers? <a href="http://mmqb.si.com/2014/04/02/richard-sherman-desean-jackson/">Because he
grew with some of those guys and they were there for him after the death of his
father</a>. Whether right or wrong, he considers some of these people his
friends, and <a href="http://www.washingtonpost.com/sports/redskins-wide-receiver-desean-jacksons-path-to-the-nfl-wound-through-gang-territory/2014/04/16/cf84e022-c69d-11e3-bf7a-be01a9b69cf1_story.html?hpid=z1" target="_blank">it’s hard for some folks to cut people loose even after they’ve “made it.” </a>DeSean is not in a gang and has said he distances himself from people
doing “negative things.” He hasn’t been charged, arrested or accused of
anything normally associated with gang culture. However, in the court of public
opinion, he’s guilty solely because of association, and that association most
likely cost him his job with the Eagles and earned him unwarranted infamy. <br />
<br />
<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M2CDgTfPuvE/U1K_WL1nWmI/AAAAAAAAArE/eI4j5Ci4CAE/s1600/GoodvsBad.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-M2CDgTfPuvE/U1K_WL1nWmI/AAAAAAAAArE/eI4j5Ci4CAE/s1600/GoodvsBad.jpg" height="313" width="320" /></a>What's my point? If you haven't already realized it, I'm a Black woman and
see some things through a racial lens, and I make no apology for that. Through
this lens I see the criminalization of Black male athletes because they dare to
be <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Young-Gifted-Black-Signet-Classics/dp/0451531787">young,
gifted and Black</a>. You can also see this play out in attempts to paint <a href="http://deadspin.com/the-big-book-of-black-quarterbacks-1517763742/1521506522">Colin
as the swaggering bad boy Negro to Russell Wilson’s choir boy good Negro, offensive
ideas that do a disservice to both men</a>. For Jackson, it's the assumption of
criminal activity based only on association rather than evidence. It’s unfair,
maddening and totally racial. <br />
<br />
Would media outlets and others have been so quick to jump to conclusions if
CK and DJ were white? Would people have been so quick to call <a href="http://www.thedailybeast.com/articles/2014/01/27/richard-sherman-is-right-thug-is-the-new-n-world.html">Richard
Sherman a thug</a> if he were a white Stanford grad instead of a Black
dreadlocked one? I think we all know the answers to these questions. Welcome to
post-racial America. <br />
<br />
Media, a word of advice: Not all Black people, including athletes, are
criminals. Next time try a little less character assassination and click
baiting and a little more reporting next time, OK? Thanks. <span style="mso-spacerun: yes;"> </span><br />
<br />
Stay random,<br />
Jay<br />
<br />
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<![endif]-->Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-67265194327934832752014-04-12T13:18:00.003-04:002014-04-19T16:43:36.849-04:00Keeping up with Kimye, Jay Z and Gatsby will be the death of us allI meant to write about this insane "save the date" video earlier, but reasons and life got in the way. Anywho, can we talk about this for a minute? I think we need to because this is just screaming for some type of discussion.<br />
<br />
<iframe allowfullscreen="" frameborder="0" height="281" mozallowfullscreen="" src="//player.vimeo.com/video/82483731?title=0&byline=0&portrait=0&color=ffffff" webkitallowfullscreen="" width="500"></iframe> <br />
<a href="http://vimeo.com/82483731">Epic Save The Date {Bambo + Janice}</a> from <a href="http://vimeo.com/majordiamond">Major Diamond Productions</a> on <a href="https://vimeo.com/">Vimeo</a>.<br />
<br />
Meet<a href="http://www.weil.com/bamboobaro/" target="_blank"> Bambo Obaro</a> and <a href="http://www.winterandross.com/janice.html" target="_blank">Janice Jentz</a>, two "high-profile" San Francisco attorneys. I don't know these people from a can of paint (yes I'm old; Gen X stand up!). I saw this video on <a href="http://jezebel.com/insane-save-the-date-wedding-video-has-helicopters-l-1561036572" target="_blank">another site </a>and since then it's <a href="http://thegrio.com/2014/04/11/california-couples-epic-save-the-date-video-goes-viral/" target="_blank">gone viral</a>, obviously. Apparently movie trailer "save-the-date" vids are what's hot in the streets. Cutesy "save the date" cards featuring engaged couples in all their photo shoot glory is so <span class="st">passé</span>.<br />
<br />
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ya6qFTZRvYw/U0lxFO8VnkI/AAAAAAAAAqo/qpW3XwXZQvc/s1600/sponge+bob+flexin.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-Ya6qFTZRvYw/U0lxFO8VnkI/AAAAAAAAAqo/qpW3XwXZQvc/s1600/sponge+bob+flexin.jpg" height="150" width="200" /></a>When I first saw this I tried to convince myself that these two just have an extreme sense of humor, and this video is just an expensive, well-produced expression of that. Nope, doesn't seem that way.<br />
<br />
Based on the video description from Major Diamond Productions (because who else would you hire to shoot this, Minor Cubic Zirconia Productions? I think not.), these two love the Jay Z, ballerific version of all things Gatsby, throw lavish parties and may be kind of a big deal in the Bay. If these two really fancy themselves to be the Bay Area version of Kim and Kanye as this video suggests...oh lawd.<br />
<br />
I firmly believe that this "Look at me!!" culture is why we can't have nice things and why the aliens will have no problem taking over the planet because we'll be too busy Instagram flexing and taking selfies.<br />
<br />
Some people think this video is cute, clever and creative. Call me crazy, but I don't get happy couple excited about in joining in holy matrimony from this, but rather something that starts with <b>nar-</b> and ends with<b> -cissism</b>. Sound familiar? Here's a visual in case you forgot what narcissism looks like. <br />
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<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1emIXsfs4Zg/U0lt4qxwltI/AAAAAAAAAqg/23L9X5tssjI/s1600/vogue_kardashian.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-1emIXsfs4Zg/U0lt4qxwltI/AAAAAAAAAqg/23L9X5tssjI/s1600/vogue_kardashian.jpg" height="320" width="228" /></a></div>
<br />
Yeah, maybe I'm being judgmental and unfair, but wedding announcements are supposed to make you feel warm and fuzzy, but this one just made me feel icky. What say you? Creative and clever or Kimye wannabees?<br />
<br />
Holla at ya girl and stay random,<br />
<br />
Jay<br />
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Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-33236672887319533722014-03-30T18:20:00.003-04:002014-03-30T22:43:26.214-04:00Love, Marriage and Conscious Uncoupling: Why Can't We Get This Thang Right?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9rJzfTT8RwY/UziVR2MBXAI/AAAAAAAAAp4/ywq5gFpfJkE/s1600/married+with+children+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-9rJzfTT8RwY/UziVR2MBXAI/AAAAAAAAAp4/ywq5gFpfJkE/s1600/married+with+children+2.jpg" height="320" width="227" /></a></div>
A couple of weeks ago I took an impromptu trip to<a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/07/little-black-boy-wonder-you-matter.html" target="_blank"> evil-ass Florida</a> because the weather in DC was making me angry, depressed, and stabby due to winter's refusal to die a timely death. Plus, one of my besties lives there, so the decision was easy. <br />
<br />
While the trip was a welcome respite from Everlasting Winter 2014, I found myself thinking a lot about love, marriage and divorce (or<a href="http://jezebel.com/meditating-on-gwyneths-goopy-split-stars-are-no-bette-1552035376" target="_blank"> “conscious uncoupling,”</a> which is a thing, I guess) when I should have been applying more sunscreen. <br />
<br />
Like anyone else, I have friends and acquaintances that seem to be happily married. On the flip side, I also obviously have friends and acquaintances whose are marriages are no longer working. These folks are either on the brink of divorce, separated or they just need to sign the papers. For the couples that seem to be happy, I'm starting to wonder if it's just a matter of when, not if before I start to notice changes and get a final confirmation from the horse's mouth. That's a terribly pessimistic view of such a cherished institution, but I see it more the older I get. As a single that wants to be half of a couple one day, I'm starting to wonder if the "happily married" and "'til death do us part" thing is really possible, or is it all fallacy created by the Wedding Industrial Complex.<br />
<br />
With all that said, I still don't think the institution of marriage is the problem. I hate to say it folks, but we're the problem. We're the ones who keep screwing things up. Humans have a tendency to do that.<br />
<br />
As result of my matrimonial aspirations, I'm constantly wondering and casually researching why unions dissolve. I guess I do this in the hopes that enough knowledge and insight will keep me and my future husband from suffering the same fate (if I remember everything I've learned). However, my research is far from scholarly. In addition to reading things, watching things about marriage on TV and just general observation, I've also had the good sense to ask real couples still in the happily married stage why it's so hard to keep a union based on love intact. <br />
<br />
One of the common threads in these conversations is that marriage is hard work. If you get lazy and don't work at it every day, a breakdown is inevitable. The other common thread is communication, or rather the lack of it. If little to no communication is a disease, then the symptoms seem to be the typical marriage killers, including infidelity, money problems, unrealistic expectations and secrets that reveal themselves in full after the ceremony. <br />
<br />
I understand human beings make mistakes and don't always get it right the first time. However, if we're capable of learning from our mistakes and these things about hard work and communication in marriage are knowable, why do we keep screwing it up? What's to stop me, despite what I've learned, from doing the same if I find someone to accept <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/02/were-not-superheroes-and-thats-ok.html" target="_blank">my own special brand of crazy</a> via marriage? <br />
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<br />
I hurt for people whose marriages don't work, and I hope for people who still have a fighting chance. If I'm honest, I also hope for an example that will make me hopeful about marriage rather than hesitant.<br />
<br />
So folks, why can't we get this thang right? Help a sista out why don't ya, and let me know what you think in the comments.<br />
<br />
Stay random,<br />
<br />
Jay<br />
<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-85353199997109788652014-02-27T00:33:00.003-05:002014-02-27T10:18:23.712-05:00Being Mary Jane = Being Messy - The Evolution of #TeamDavid and Ride or Die Chicks<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dny2eFaTdu0/Uw7HDto_8yI/AAAAAAAAAog/02IjTZMDmfk/s1600/being-mary-jane-3-300x231.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-dny2eFaTdu0/Uw7HDto_8yI/AAAAAAAAAog/02IjTZMDmfk/s1600/being-mary-jane-3-300x231.jpg" /></a></div>
<a href="http://blogs.indiewire.com/shadowandact/stephen-bishop-promoted-to-series-regular-on-being-mary-jane-tory-kittles-tim-meadows-casting-news" target="_blank">#TeamDavid</a>, I misjudged you. Please forgive me. Mary Jane, you are NOT ride or die, but you are CRAZY. Now that we've got that out of the way, let's get into the good, the bad and the cray cray that is #BeingMaryJane. <br />
<b>***SPOILER ALERT*** </b><br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<br />
<b>The good </b><br />
<br />
The theme of Tuesday's season finale seemed to be truth and seeing people for who they really are. <br />
<br />
<u>The Evolution of David: </u><br />
<br />
<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Dpxil4xsslo/Uw7HDN9e6XI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/WucpqnXg0lE/s1600/Stephen-Bishop-V.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-Dpxil4xsslo/Uw7HDN9e6XI/AAAAAAAAAoQ/WucpqnXg0lE/s1600/Stephen-Bishop-V.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a>When this show first started, <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2014/01/the-men-of-being-mary-jane-teamdavid.html" target="_blank">I thought I had the men, particularly David (played beautifully by Stephen C. Bishop) all figured out. </a>He was a manwhore, but probably a good guy. Nope, I was wrong, there was definitely more to David that we were led to believe.<br />
<br />
For whatever I reason, I missed the part about David and MJ being an actual couple. I thought they were just friends with benefits. After the epic "Did you steal my sperm?" pregnancy test discussion (chile.....), it's revealed that MJ and David were in a committed relationship, but it didn't last because MJ believed her friends who said David was a loser stringing her along and taking advantage of her. It turns out they were totally wrong. Yeah, MJ supported David, but he was no slacker, but rather a man trying to make his dreams a reality instead of relying on his parents' money. So of course, after MJ dumps him, he hits the big time with his web company and the rest is history.<br />
<br />
After MJ chases David down to profess her love (chile....), we learn something new: David is genuinely hurt that she bounced when he was down even though he stood by her when she got fired. In David's eyes, MJ is only interested in him because he's doing well, personally and professionally. Even though MJ says later that she's a ride or die chick, her previous actions say otherwise. <br />
<br />
<b>MJ: What was I supposed to do?</b><br />
<br />
<b>David: You were supposed to love me.</b><br />
<br />
Well damn! There it is. "You were supposed to love me," totally sounds like something a girl would say in a romantic comedy, but the beauty of Bishop's portrayal is that the line sound both genuinely emotional yet still masculine. In that scene we really got to see David. The "casual sex" guy we were introduced to in the pilot had me fooled. David is not a bad guy. He's a hurt guy who's trying to move on with his life despite still having soft spot for the "crazy lady" known as Mary Jane Paul....or Pauletta, depending on who's around her. Truth.com and then some. <br />
<br />
<u>When Keepin' It Real Gets Weird</u><br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zTIoT8PVUpI/Uw7ItY1sIwI/AAAAAAAAAo4/xlJ203Oxqh0/s1600/middle+of+nowhere.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-zTIoT8PVUpI/Uw7ItY1sIwI/AAAAAAAAAo4/xlJ203Oxqh0/s1600/middle+of+nowhere.jpg" height="320" width="213" /></a></div>
Say what you want about the outrageousness of some Akil productions, but you can't deny that Mara Brock Akil is a great writer who skillfully weaves in social commentary that impacts Black lives in a way that you won't see that often. I literally squealed with glee when Ava Duvernay popped up on the screen to talk about her brilliant film, <a href="http://www.middlenowhere.com/" target="_blank">Middle of Nowhere</a>, and the prison industrial complex. I also appreciated the poignant colorism-focused scene between MJ and Niecy. <br />
<br />
<u>Preaching without Preaching</u><br />
<br />
Another pro was the way Mara inserted little spiritual gems that make you go "Umph. That's a word right there!'" Whether it was the maid's sugar and vinegar analogy or Leo the limo driver giving that "Everything you're going through is preparing you for what you asked for" wisdom, preaching without being preachy is definitely a skill that Mara has mastered.<br />
<br />
<b>The bad</b><br />
<br />
<u>Side Chick Advice: Girl, WHAT?!?!</u><br />
<br />
So for all the good we saw the other night, I'm still a little in my feelings about MJ's apology to Avery and her willingness to give unsolicited advice regarding her marriage to #TeamAndre (<a href="http://www.imdb.com/name/nm1165044/?ref_=nv_sr_1" target="_blank">hey, Omari Hardwick)</a>.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NrN_gLv6aV8/Uw7IPxSNa9I/AAAAAAAAAow/BuLbZbENV20/s1600/side+chick.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-NrN_gLv6aV8/Uw7IPxSNa9I/AAAAAAAAAow/BuLbZbENV20/s1600/side+chick.jpg" height="200" width="200" /></a></div>
While it was great she apologized to Avery, the whole thing came off as extremely self-serving. She only did it after Kara forced her and to assuage her guilt for contributing to the breakdown of a marriage. It was all about MJ.Girl, I see you, and it ain't pretty. <br />
<br />
If that wasn't enough, after she apologizes, she advises Avery to greet Andre at the door, ask him about his day and get down on her knees when...well you know. I usually suspend disbelief quite easily when watching TV dramas, but that scene rubbed me the wrong way. If I was Avery, the last thing I'd want hear is insight on what I did wrong from the #2. Um, girl, you dang near helped destroy a MARRIAGE!! Apologize, be grateful that Avery didn't cut you and get on. The truth shall set you free, but it can also get you hurt. <br />
<br />
<u>Am I Losing You for Good? Yep, Looks That Way</u><br />
<br />
Oh, and getting back to David, after sleeping with a married man, MJ goes to David and proposes getting back together even though he has a girlfriend. So, while she feels guilty about wrecking one home, she's cool with wrecking another? Girl, bye.<br />
<br />
<b>The Cray Cray aka What The Entire F***?</b><br />
<br />
<u>Want Some Pot Roast to go with that Pap Smear?</u><br />
<br />
So Dr. Lisa almost inseminated MJ on her kitchen floor with a turkey baster. Um, WHAT??? Please lawd don't let this become a thing. I know that TV has to go a little left to keep the tweets flowing, but really? Va jay jay on the kitchen floor? File this under DOING WAY TOO MUCH FOR A TUESDAY. OR ANY OTHER DAY. <br />
<br />
<u>Sperm Etiquette</u><br />
<br />
Why did MJ keep the sperm for so long? Why didn't David take the sperm when he left MJ's after confronting her about stealing it in the first place? Why did MJ give the sperm back to David instead of just throwing it away? What the hell is David supposedly to do with thawed sperm? Why are we being all willy nilly with sperm?<br />
<br />
Too many questions and not enough answers. <b>Ladies, just leave the sperm where you found it and WALK AWAY. Please. </b><br />
<br />
So class, what did we learn? If this season finale was about facing the truth and seeing people for who they really are, then Mary Jane probably shouldn't like what she sees. However, how many of us do? How many of us need a mirror to confront our crazy? Hopefully Season 2 Mary Jane will give us a reason to root for her, rather than a reason to give the side-eye. <br />
<br />
Also, this is a television drama for a reason. None of Tuesday's night ratchetness will cut it in the real world, but you knew that, right?<br />
<br />
Stay random,<br />
JayJayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-64938722642314531242014-02-21T03:01:00.000-05:002014-02-21T10:58:15.179-05:00Emotional Rollercoaster: When a Song Isn't Just a Song<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RZgqQ5GrTog/UwcFMtQG64I/AAAAAAAAAns/xERo8v9VgpA/s1600/Miguel.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-RZgqQ5GrTog/UwcFMtQG64I/AAAAAAAAAns/xERo8v9VgpA/s1600/Miguel.jpg" height="200" width="147" /></a>You know how you can like a song and get it on an intellectual level, but you can't really relate to it? The song is not an Aha! moment, at least not on the first listen. For example, I had a love/hate relationship with Miguel's <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gt3QLI3XYtk&feature=kp" target="_blank">"Quickie."</a> I've never had a quickie, can't relate to the concept, but whenever I heard it, I sang along quite loudly. However, I never did that around anybody's kids, because considering the lyrics, that would be kinda trifling.<br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c9VQkM0-jhM/UwcD7zm069I/AAAAAAAAAnk/3OfQE1dFEIU/s1600/VivianGreen.JPG" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-c9VQkM0-jhM/UwcD7zm069I/AAAAAAAAAnk/3OfQE1dFEIU/s1600/VivianGreen.JPG" height="200" width="197" /></a><br />
Well, <a href="http://www.viviangreen.com/" target="_blank">Vivian Green's</a> 2002 diddy,<a href="https://www.google.com/search?q=emotional+rollercoaster&ie=utf-8&oe=utf-8&aq=t&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&client=firefox-a&channel=sb#channel=sb&q=vivian+green+a+love+story&rls=org.mozilla:en-US:official&stick=H4sIAAAAAAAAAGOovnz8BQMDgyEHsxCXfq6-gXG6UW5GthISW0s0O9lKP7e0ODNZPzEnqTTXqjg_L734HvMai_oWbnXFvZPXSjxRdew7PCkTAC-0lM9OAAAA" target="_blank">"Emotional Rollercoaster,"</a> is now one of those Aha! moment songs for me. It's a beautifully crafted song that tells an all too familiar story. Like other songs, I liked it, but it didn't really speak to my experiences....until today. I listened to the song on a whim for the first time since the <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/12/808s-heartbreak-recognition-and.html" target="_blank">Great Regret</a>, and I finally GOT IT. Funny how that happens when you finally get off your own emotional rollercoaster. If you're not familiar, peep the lyrics: <br />
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<i><b>Last night I cried, tossed and turned<br />
Woke up with dry eyes<br />
My mind was racing, feet were pacing<br />
Lord, help me please, tell me what I have gotten into<br />
<br />
Ran my three miles to clear my mind<br />
It always helps me out<br />
It's my therapy when I'm losin' it<br />
Which is usually, hey<br />
<br />
I'm on an emotional rollercoaster<br />
Lovin' you ain't nothin' healthy<br />
Lovin' you was never good for me (For me)<br />
But I can't get off<br />
<br />
This emotional rollercoaster<br />
Lovin' you ain't nothin' healthy<br />
Lovin' you was never good for me (For me, oh)<br />
But I can't get off<br />
<br />
Yesterday I told myself<br />
I was gonna be okay<br />
Gonna start a new day, truly happy<br />
I was gonna take control of me<br />
<br />
But eventually reality hit me<br />
Mentally, physically, emotionally<br />
And I opened my eyes and realized<br />
That I was still bein' taken for a constant ride on<br />
your<br />
<br />
I'm on an emotional rollercoaster (Ooh, baby)<br />
Lovin' you ain't nothin' healthy (For real, it's never<br />
healthy for me)<br />
Lovin' you was never good for me (Oh, but I can't get)<br />
But I can't get off (Ooh...ooh...baby...)<br />
<br />
Emotional rollercoaster (You got me goin' up and down)<br />
Lovin' you ain't nothin' healthy (Oh)<br />
Lovin' you was never good for me (Never good for me,<br />
ah)<br />
But I can't get off<br />
<br />
So tired of you makin' love to me<br />
Then disappearing so suddenly<br />
Up and down it goes<br />
And I'm so tired of you pacifyin' me<br />
With promises you know that you'll never keep<br />
Round and round it goes, I am on a<br />
<br />
I'm on an emotional rollercoaster (Oh)<br />
Lovin' you ain't nothin' healthy (Ooh, ain't nothin'<br />
healthy ?bout it, baby)<br />
Lovin' you was never good for me (Nothin' healthy<br />
'bout it, baby)<br />
But I can't get off (Oh, oh)<br />
<br />
Emotional rollercoaster<br />
Lovin' you ain't nothin' healthy<br />
Lovin' you was never good for me<br />
But I can't get off</b></i></div>
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/63TudFk9-u8?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
<br />
What about you? Any new Aha! moments from your favorite songs?<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mRtxzc6Dl1U/UwcDfo1GD4I/AAAAAAAAAnc/qpYRxd932H8/s1600/EmotionalRollercoaster.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-mRtxzc6Dl1U/UwcDfo1GD4I/AAAAAAAAAnc/qpYRxd932H8/s1600/EmotionalRollercoaster.gif" height="135" width="320" /></a></div>
While you're thinking about that, stay random and stay away from rollercoasters, at least the emotional kind. <br />
<br />
--JayJayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-88637040545677603242014-02-12T23:20:00.001-05:002014-02-12T23:39:28.227-05:00Social Media Sabbatical: Try It. You Might Like It.<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rebkIo-Zxsg/UvxCLVPF4wI/AAAAAAAAAm0/c6qb4OzL-T0/s1600/060911socialmediadetox.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zV_rgki8cLI/UvxCLloYXyI/AAAAAAAAAm4/0s3DfSgGiuc/s1600/You+aint+got+the+answers.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-zV_rgki8cLI/UvxCLloYXyI/AAAAAAAAAm4/0s3DfSgGiuc/s1600/You+aint+got+the+answers.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a>Last month I decided to do a <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2014/01/digital-detox-restoring-balance-to-my.html">digital detox</a> because my social media use was getting a wee bit out of control. What I learned during my time away from social media was that the world won't end if I don't know everything as it happens and that it's easy to slip back into bad habits. Let me break it down for you because <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S78tT_YxF_c">unlike Sway, I got the answers</a>. <br />
<br />
<a href="https://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wmN4mWc5vqI/UvxCLa3-QHI/AAAAAAAAAm8/RUYEq8x6a7I/s1600/Social-Media-Real-Life-iStock_000019971227XSmall.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-wmN4mWc5vqI/UvxCLa3-QHI/AAAAAAAAAm8/RUYEq8x6a7I/s1600/Social-Media-Real-Life-iStock_000019971227XSmall.jpg" height="199" width="200" /></a><b>1. Whatever happened, you'll find about it eventually</b><br />
<br />
When I first started the detox, I felt like I was missing out of what's going on the world. More importantly, I felt left out of a massive global conversation facilitated by social media, and I didn't like feeling like an outsider. I mean, <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Everyone-Hanging-Without-Other-Concerns/dp/0307886271">is everyone hanging out without me?</a> In the beginning it seemed like there were so many things to tweet and post, and I couldn't share any of it. Argh! <br />
<br />
However, even though I was taking a social media break, I wasn't taking an Internet break. Consequently, I probably scoured news sites and blogs more than usual to find out what was going on the world. Once I did, I realized that while I probably could have discovered info about the latest and greatest earlier, I eventually did find out what was going on, and my world didn't end. Imagine that.<br />
<br />
<b></b> <b>2. I'm not alone</b><br />
<br />
Once I detached from social media, I became more aware that I wasn't the only one who spent way more time looking down at a touch screen rather than looking up at the people right in front of you. You know what I'm talking about: You're having a meal with a friend or hanging out at an event, and you pull out your phone. Whether it's scrolling through Instagram or checking Facebook or Twitter, many of us have mastered the art of the non-conversation conversation when pleasant banter fades into silence because we're looking down at our phones. I don't want to continue to be one of those people, and I don't want you to continue to be one of those people either. It will be hard at first, but I promise you can do it. <br />
<br />
<b>3. Freedom from social media = Free time</b><br />
<br />
During my detox, I realized that I had more free time on my hands. Normally this would be a good thing, but all the free time I had reminded me of how much time I actually waste scrolling on my phone and laptop. I could have been coming up with the next Big Idea or cooking a mean lasagna, but instead I was peeping through the windows of other people's lives (or what they want us to believe about their lives) via social media. Hmmm...I think I'll go come up with that Big Idea now and find out more enriching ways to fill my time...like making that lasagna. <br />
<br />
<b>4. Social media needs a purpose to keep it from being a GIANT timesuck</b><br />
<br />
Back in the early days of social media, especially Twitter, there was a lot of advice out there about how to not be annoying on social media and how to provide "value" to your followers. While well- intentioned, I honestly don't think the advice took hold for most of the Twitterverse because I see a lot of stuff that adds no value to my life, but maybe that's just me.<br />
<br />
I'm learning that social media needs to have a purpose to keep it from becoming a depressing and self-loathing waste of time. Whether that purpose is to connect with your favorite writers or follow the hashtag of a popular TV show, you need structure when consuming social media, and yes, there's freedom in structure. Look for what you need, find it and then get out of dodge...Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Pinterest, Tumblr...all of it! If you don't, you'll find out some new things, but you'll miss more important things, like actual human interaction, if you don't stop staring at your phone.<br />
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<b>5. Diving back in after going cold turkey is NOT a good idea </b> <a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rebkIo-Zxsg/UvxCLVPF4wI/AAAAAAAAAm0/c6qb4OzL-T0/s1600/060911socialmediadetox.jpg" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-rebkIo-Zxsg/UvxCLVPF4wI/AAAAAAAAAm0/c6qb4OzL-T0/s1600/060911socialmediadetox.jpg" height="318" width="320" /></a><br />
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After my detox I felt proud and excited by what I had learned about myself and my habits during the process. However, when I got back on social media, I made the mistake of diving back and playing catch up. From there it was just a hop, skip and a jump back into most, but not all, of my bad habits. The lesson: Once again, have a plan! Just like you reintroduce certain foods into your diet after a fast, reintroduce social media slowly back into your life in a purposeful way with guidelines and limits.<br />
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For example, only check Instragram once a day when you're on the train. Scroll through your Twitter feed for only three minutes every other day. If you survived a detox, you can do this. Your eyes, fingers and your phone battery will thank you. <br />
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The moral of this story? Social media has obvious advantages and disadvantages. On one hand, it can introduce you to people and ideas that enlighten you in unexpected ways. On the other it can be a timesuck of meaningless, tiresome chatter and pretty pictures that add nothing to your life and kill your brain cells, if you don't manage it with purpose. The choice is yours.<br />
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Stay random,<br />
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Jay <br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CJpDQCLPWPo/Uvm3LTXfp6I/AAAAAAAAAmk/FuUbV-ZB9A0/s1600/I+miss+football.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-CJpDQCLPWPo/Uvm3LTXfp6I/AAAAAAAAAmk/FuUbV-ZB9A0/s1600/I+miss+football.jpg" height="239" width="320" /></a></div>
Considering that I really didn't understand football basics until last year, the fact that I miss the game is a little surprising to me. Having no real football news to digest has created a small void in my sports news consumption habits, so I can only imagine how hard-core fans are handling their withdrawal.<br />
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So far the only big football news is <a href="http://www.nytimes.com/2014/02/10/sports/michael-sam-college-football-star-says-he-is-gay-ahead-of-nfl-draft.html?_r=0">the whole Michael Sam drama</a>, and I understand why it's a big deal. Quick note on Michael Sam: <a href="http://mmqb.si.com/2014/02/09/michael-sam-monday-morning-quarterback/">What he did was brave, so hopefully his bravery won't be met with cowardice from NFL teams on draft day. </a><br />
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<b>*Gets down off soapbox*</b> Anywho, back to the original topic. I'm coping with the absence of football the best way I know how, with laughter.<br />
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If you want to see a hilarious interpretation what your favorite players and coaches <i>might </i>be saying on the field (oh how I wish), check out <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zce-QT7MGSE">NFL Bad Lip Reading</a>. I'm particularly fond of the the latest installment.<br />
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<iframe allowfullscreen='allowfullscreen' webkitallowfullscreen='webkitallowfullscreen' mozallowfullscreen='mozallowfullscreen' width='320' height='266' src='https://www.youtube.com/embed/rRqKYXcL-2U?feature=player_embedded' frameborder='0'></iframe></div>
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Go ahead and get your laugh on. It will make the countdown to kickoff that much easier. Remember, THIS IS NOT A TOY! Gotta watch the vid to understand what I'm talking about :)<br />
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Stay random,<br />
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Jay <br />
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<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-25489762105920032812014-01-23T15:43:00.003-05:002014-01-29T22:31:54.503-05:00White People, Can We Talk? Really?<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Xf6RH7Q9Sd4/UuC1OLcbs6I/AAAAAAAAAls/cjlWzkK4rDs/s1600/dearwhitep.jpeg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-Xf6RH7Q9Sd4/UuC1OLcbs6I/AAAAAAAAAls/cjlWzkK4rDs/s1600/dearwhitep.jpeg" height="176" width="200" /></a>I was <a href="http://www.corcoran.org/exhibitions/question-bridge-black-males">out with some friends</a> recently when one of them jokingly called me a racist because I didn't appreciate the voyeuristic way some white folks approach predominately Black events and gatherings. My friends know that whenever I see specks of white in a sea of Black, my eyes slide into "side eye" formation, and my antenna rise into position. Why are you here? Are we performers in some sort of exotic show for your entertainment? Are we research subjects to observe so you can complete your dissertation? I laughed off her observation because of our friendship and because no reasonable person likes to think of themselves as racist. However, the way things have been going lately she may be one to something.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QnOEvYyk4SQ/UuC1sEGaAzI/AAAAAAAAAl8/vHM4U6KhXo4/s1600/Question_bridge_02_web_0+(2).jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-QnOEvYyk4SQ/UuC1sEGaAzI/AAAAAAAAAl8/vHM4U6KhXo4/s1600/Question_bridge_02_web_0+(2).jpg" height="90" width="200" /></a>Yes, we've come a long way from "colored only" drinking fountains, fire houses and bus boycotts. However, that offers little solace when <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/22/jonathan-ferrell-randall-kerrick-north-carolina_n_4646186.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular">Black men</a>, women and children are still being shot down in the streets for merely being Black and institutional barriers keep many of us from experiencing true equality. There are reasons why income and educational gaps exists, why the Black employment rate is always high, and why the school-to-prison pipeline disproportionally affects young people of color, and it ain't because we're all a bunch of shiftless Negroes. Racism and its negative effects are real. Trust me on this.<br />
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I was inspired to write this after <a href="http://www.ebony.com/news-views/beautiful-struggler-bye-white-people-its-been-real-454#axzz2r6HKcyOr">reading an article by EBONY's Jamilah Lemieux</a>, a writer who really needs to get out of my head: <br />
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<b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>"Look, White folks, can we just agree to disagree on the whole “treating Black people with respect” thing? Clearly, we aren’t going to see eye-to-eye. So… can y’all just leave us alone? Like, just look away when you see us doing anything and don’t put us in your movies, TV shows or living room sets. Just leave us be, leave us be, leave us be. Don’t celebrate Dr. King’s death on his birthday, don’t celebrate his birthday at all, just please go back to your corner and we’ll stay in ours. I don’t want integration anymore. I don’t even want those cheesecake swirl brownies from Starbucks. You just take that creamy stuff and let us keep the chocolate.</i></span></span></b><br />
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</span></span></b> <b><span style="color: purple;"><span style="background-color: white;"><i>I’m tired of y’all making us feel bad, I’m tired of having to explain or defend my humanity and the humanity of those who look like me..." </i></span></span></b><br />
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EJeN8XicYxI/UuC1OIu2YBI/AAAAAAAAAl4/ulCKSdr6Hgc/s1600/cultural+appropriation.png" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-EJeN8XicYxI/UuC1OIu2YBI/AAAAAAAAAl4/ulCKSdr6Hgc/s1600/cultural+appropriation.png" height="290" width="320" /></a></div>
I don't know if I would go as far as Lemieux, but sis, I understand. I mean, between blackface parties, <a href="http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/01/20/dasha-zhukova-black-woman-chair-buro-247-editorial_n_4633544.html?utm_hp_ref=mostpopular">black people furniture</a>, <a href="http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2014/01/single-black-artist-topped-billboards-hot-100-chart-2013-care/">cultural appropriation</a>, gentrification, or labeling young black men as thugs just for the crime of being <a href="http://www.cnn.com/2014/01/22/us/5-things-richard-sherman/index.html?iref=allsearch">loud (and a jerk) after a football game</a>, is there any wonder why some of us are just sick of this crap? And then some of y'all got the nerve to tell us that <a href="http://www.clutchmagonline.com/2014/01/dear-white-people-stop-telling-us-racist/">we're too sensitive and playing the "race card."</a> Good lawd. At times it seems like we keep trying with y'all and <b>IT. JUST. AIN'T. WORKING</b>. This mess is exhausting, and a lot of us are just <b>TIRED</b>. <br />
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The fact that some whites remain racist and willfully ignorant in 2014 is disturbing, disheartening and sad, but not surprising. Even <a href="http://www.theroot.com/articles/politics/2014/01/obama_says_race_hatred_exists.html?wpisrc=topstories">President Obama FINALLY acknowledged the obvious: Some people don't like him because he's Black</a>. Shocking. Not really. It honestly feels like for every one white person who gets it and is not racist, there are about 5,000 who are committed to hate based on skin color and just don't give a damn. Even better are the ones who feign ignorance when whatever horrible and racially offensive thing they've done is exposed and then top if off with a half-ass "apology." <a href="http://thegrio.com/2014/01/18/madonna-calls-her-son-rocco-the-n-word-on-social-media/">Yeah, Madonna, I'm looking at you</a>. <br />
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This crap needs to stop and as tempting as is to throw in the towel, it's not a realistic solution. You aren't going anywhere, and neither are we. I'm not going to get all kumbaya on you, but equal treatment and respect for your fellow HUMAN BEINGS isn't hard, and it isn't exhausting like racism. You know I'm tired, but aren't you tired too? <br />
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Glad we could have this talk.<br />
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Stay random,<br />
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Jay <br />
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<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-45112905731083765812014-01-13T11:00:00.000-05:002014-01-13T16:02:09.644-05:00Digital Detox: Restoring Balance to My Social Media System<div class="MsoNormal">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wQywH31R57A/UtRTmOAH1bI/AAAAAAAAAlM/3Jo3qttOLao/s1600/Digital-Detox-image-iphone-screen.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="111" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-wQywH31R57A/UtRTmOAH1bI/AAAAAAAAAlM/3Jo3qttOLao/s200/Digital-Detox-image-iphone-screen.jpg" width="200" /></a>The new year is here and as we all know, it's the perfect time to make changes. For me, one of the changes I intend to make involves jumping on the detox bandwagon. Now, my detox won't involve denying myself certain foods or liquor (like that would ever happen). <b>I'm detoxing from social media.</b><br />
<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H7Mmva_a2cQ/UtRTmMZOzTI/AAAAAAAAAlI/vOuMAXpqqaM/s1600/off2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"></a> </div>
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The challenge is that this kind of detox is a funny thing for a person whose job and extracurricular activities involve social media. My job in communications for a health care association has a social media component, and for two years I've managed social media responsibilities for my church. Previously, I served as s social media consultant for a D.C. nonprofit. I am out in these social media streets, but I think I need to come in before the street lights come on. <br />
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Why a detox? Obviously there's significant value in connecting via Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Pinterest, Vine, etc., as a way to share, connect, build community and affect positive change. However, as with most things, <a href="http://www.pcmag.com/article2/0,2817,2422173,00.asp">there's a danger to indulging in too much of what should be a great thing</a>. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dDKhEAEl0GM/UtRTmLIVijI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/iDg3l5dLpHE/s1600/digital-detox_2596804k.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="199" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-dDKhEAEl0GM/UtRTmLIVijI/AAAAAAAAAlQ/iDg3l5dLpHE/s320/digital-detox_2596804k.jpg" width="320" /></a>To my horror, I've become one of those people. You know the ones I'm talking about: the people that check their multiple profiles multiple times a day. The people that check and post from their phone at dinner, in church, while hanging out with friends, you name it. The people who check their posts constantly to see which ones have been liked, how many times and by whom. Half of my 45-minute train ride to work involves scrolling through Instagram and Twitter.<br />
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I didn't mean to become a social media junkie. It just kind of happened....said every junkie ever. After all, I need to know what's going on in the world, and Twitter is great for that. I need to check my church's Facebook and Twitter profiles to see what folks are saying about the church and if what I crafted in HootSuite posted correctly. Looking at pics on Instagram is no big deal, right? I mean it will only take a few minutes to scroll through the pics and videos, and some of the posts are really inspirational! A friend or acquaintance is celebrating a birthday today, so I have to add a "Happy Birthday!" wall post. Not doing so would just be rude. This is the way people communicate now, so it's totally fine, right?<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H7Mmva_a2cQ/UtRTmMZOzTI/AAAAAAAAAlI/vOuMAXpqqaM/s1600/off2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" height="320" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-H7Mmva_a2cQ/UtRTmMZOzTI/AAAAAAAAAlI/vOuMAXpqqaM/s320/off2.jpg" width="274" /></a>I don't know about you, but these seemingly innocent activities often lead me into visual social media quicksand. I've wasted more time on my smartphone and my laptop scrolling through all things scrollable than I care to admit. I missed a train stop once because I was engrossed in something that I saw on Twitter or Instagram that I now can't remember. I've missed TV shows or bits and pieces of shows that I really wanted to watch because I was too busy tweeting or clicking on hashtags about the show I'm supposed to be watching. And while I read articles I find on social media, I'm constantly haunted by the fact that I could have and should have read a book and instead of burying my face in my phone. Oh the shame of it all. <br />
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It's now gotten to the point where my check-ins are borderline automatic. Consequently, I feel sucked in and bored by what I find because I see so much of the same thing. Oh, and did I mention the general information overload? Lawd! Then I feel bad about myself for wasting so much time looking at what other people are saying and doing instead of actually reading that book, learning to cook steak, cleaning out my closet, figuring out what the heck a "read option" is, SOMETHING!</div>
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Social media is supposed to be fun and engaging, but my overconsumption is having the opposite effect, and that my dear friends is why a detox is in order. <br />
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Now, don't get me wrong. Obviously, social media can be great. I've been introduced to brilliant minds and enlightening conversations. I've read some thought-provoking pieces that I otherwise wouldn't have known about had it not been for a tweet or a share on Facebook. I've also laughed at some of the most ratchet shenanigans thanks to <a href="http://www.theroot.com/blogs/the_grapevine/2014/01/here_s_your_black_twitter_user_manual.html">Black Twitter</a>. <br />
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Buttttttt, I'm tired of feeling bad. I'm tired of feeling unproductive and typical. I'm tired of missing out on what's real rather than the <a href="http://www.relevantmagazine.com/culture/tech/stop-instagramming-your-perfect-life">carefully curated images</a> and ramblings of people people who can create new identifies and personalities simply to <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2012/04/every-thang-aint-got-to-be-said.html">talk loud without saying anything of substance</a>.<b> </b><br />
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Now when I say detox, I don't mean walking away from the Internet entirely. That's just not realistic for me. Most activities involve some sort of online engagement, and I have a job and <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/">a blog</a> (shameless plug!). What is realistic for me is letting go of the need to be plugged in and in the know all the dang time via social media. <br />
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I'm going to detox for two weeks and during that time I'm going to focus on finding an online balance by asking the following questions: How can I be productive on social media? How can I connect without missing what's right in front of me? What are realistic time limits for my social media engagement? How can I effectively use social media without turning a quick check-in into a complete time suck?</div>
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If you're like me, might I suggest a digital detox? Your eyes, friends and local bookstore will thank you.<br />
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Stay random,<br />
Jay<br />
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Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-85343718625146646332014-01-12T12:36:00.003-05:002014-01-12T12:36:42.556-05:00Football Fineness: Who Ya Got? Colin vs. CamColin Kaepernick versus Cam Newton. Yes, I'm talking about football, but not in the way you might think. <strong>Warning:</strong> This post is just for fun and should be taken for what it is: An excuse to look at pictures of cute boys.<br />
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Now that we got that out of the way, let's take about the Fineness Bowl taking place today a.k.a the <a href="http://bleacherreport.com/articles/1919794-is-colin-kaepernick-or-cam-newton-facing-more-pressure-for-nfc-divisional-round">NFC Divisional game</a>. In this corner, you got the <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/10/have-light-skinned-brothers-finally.html">douchey swaggering sexy that is Colin Kaepernick</a> of the San Francisco 49ers.<br />
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<a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SaLYgV1VCz8/Uko7SbeCP8I/AAAAAAAAAXc/JDaFtG9hiQU/s1600/ColinKaepernick2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-SaLYgV1VCz8/Uko7SbeCP8I/AAAAAAAAAXc/JDaFtG9hiQU/s1600/ColinKaepernick2.jpg" height="320" width="233" /></a></div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d2PhiuXpImM/Uko7SEw5HUI/AAAAAAAAAXY/u30DpLpDsFU/s1600/ColinKaepernick+Naked+2.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-d2PhiuXpImM/Uko7SEw5HUI/AAAAAAAAAXY/u30DpLpDsFU/s1600/ColinKaepernick+Naked+2.jpg" height="199" width="320" /></a><a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-knYbtadChFQ/Uko7SHeY4EI/AAAAAAAAAXU/7S_q3NVepX4/s1600/ColinKaepernick+Naked.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-knYbtadChFQ/Uko7SHeY4EI/AAAAAAAAAXU/7S_q3NVepX4/s1600/ColinKaepernick+Naked.jpg" height="180" width="320" /></a></div>
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In this corner, you got the megawatt smile and dimples for days known as Cam Newton, a.k.a Superman, of the Carolina Panthers.<br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s9RVGUKvlr0/UtLRONMzKKI/AAAAAAAAAkc/Hpkn9T4FJfs/s1600/Cam-Newton-GQ-Cover.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-s9RVGUKvlr0/UtLRONMzKKI/AAAAAAAAAkc/Hpkn9T4FJfs/s1600/Cam-Newton-GQ-Cover.jpg" height="320" width="234" /></a><a href="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t5Qh8Xk0RZM/UtLROvzgEFI/AAAAAAAAAk0/nLQbQeZYnVs/s1600/cam+newton.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://2.bp.blogspot.com/-t5Qh8Xk0RZM/UtLROvzgEFI/AAAAAAAAAk0/nLQbQeZYnVs/s1600/cam+newton.jpg" /></a></div>
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Lawd. Ladies, it's a simple question: Who ya got? Colin or Cam?<br />
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Stay random,<br />
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JayJayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-34220798211871797212014-01-09T18:59:00.001-05:002014-02-27T10:19:21.855-05:00The Men of Being Mary Jane: #TeamDavid, #TeamAndre or #TeamNeither?<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OYdMTgxv9dY/Us8wODtxYuI/AAAAAAAAAkI/-7uqRg-wsHQ/s1600/being+mary+jane+2014.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-OYdMTgxv9dY/Us8wODtxYuI/AAAAAAAAAkI/-7uqRg-wsHQ/s1600/being+mary+jane+2014.jpg" height="264" width="320" /></a></div>
<b><span style="color: red;">UPDATE:</span> So, I may have been wrong about David. Check it <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2014/02/being-mary-jane-being-messy-evolution.html" target="_blank">here</a>. </b><br />
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So obviously I watched <a href="http://www.bet.com/shows/being-mary-jane.html">Being Mary Jane</a>, as did about <a href="http://www.deadline.com/2014/01/bets-being-mary-jane-series-debut-cumes-5-million-viewers/">5 million other people</a>. BET has a hit on its hands and fingers crossed and prayers up that they don't screw it up (<a href="http://www.bet.com/shows/the-game.html">like The Game</a>). But that's not what this blog post is about. <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/07/from-being-mary-jane-to-scandal-and.html">I already talked about that</a>. What I'm more interested in are Mary Jane's men and what most of us would do in her shoes, if we are really honest with ourselves.<b> ***SPOILER ALERT***</b><br />
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In this corner, we have David, played by Stephen Bishop (<a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/10/have-light-skinned-brothers-finally.html">told ya'll light skin was making a comeback</a>). David is not a bad guy in that he doesn't treat Mary Jane poorly. When Mary Jane left in the middle of the night to rescue her depressed friend who nearly OD'ed on some sort of drug, David stayed until she got back, asked about her friend and suggested the need for a psychiatrist. He could have just threw up deuces and rolled out, but he didn't. He also went into protector mode when he saw a strange car creep into MJ's driveway (#TeamAndre).<br />
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Buttttttttttt David is a manwhore. When we were first introduced to David last year in the movie pilot, his opening line was "Are you up for some casual sex?". He is emotionally unavailable and not here for intimacy or messy relationships. He's here for casual sex. Duh! Didn't you hear the man? He's also honest, brutally so. He makes his intentions clear and doesn't play games. If Mary Jane asks him one of those tricky romantic questions, he cuts to the chase and answers truthfully. There's casual sex to be had, so why waste time beating around the bush (pun not intended...but then again...). <b><span style="color: red;">UPDATE:</span> So David is now "seeing someone" and things are "moving really fast." Apparently, unlike a leopard, a manwhore can change its spots. It just takes age and the right woman, or a good woman at the right time. But I digress. </b><br />
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Andre on the other hand, played by Omari Hardwick (<a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/10/have-light-skinned-brothers-finally.html">I should have put him on my list too. Dang it!</a>), is your typical cheater. He lies to his wife and Mary Jane. He claims he loves MJ and next week it looks like he might be ready to leave his wife for her, but trailers can be deceiving. However, like all cheaters he's selfish. It's all about what he wants, when he wants it. Yeah, sometimes husbands leave their wives for the sidechick, and some of them even live happily ever after, but that only happens once every blue moon.<br />
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Sidepieces exist for a reason: Folks go out looking for something their spouse or significant other isn't providing (or so they say), and they find it in someone else. Instead of working on his marriage, Andre buries himself in vulnerable Mary Jane and doesn't bother to tell her the truth. But Andre has MJ's heart. Consequently, even after an excruciating and personal interrogation by the scorned wife of her married lover, Mary Jane succumbs to the oh so gentle removal of her shower cap and hair clip and gives up the goods to Andre in the gym shower. Yeah, all that happened.<br />
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Both of these guys are terrible for Mary Jane, who just wants to have it all: a loving and devoted husband, kids and a successful career. <b>What's interesting are their levels of awfulness. </b>My fascination with this dynamic led me to conduct an unscientific poll on Facebook and Instagram with this crazy question:<br />
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<i><span class="userContent" data-ft="{"tn":"K"}">Hey Being Mary Jane watchers, who do you think is worse, David or Andre? David is emotionally available and not here for any kind of intimacy, but he's upfront and brutally honest. On the flip side, Andre claims he loves MJ, but he's married (!!). What say you? If you were a glutton for punishment and had to choose, would you pick the honest manwhore or the married guy who claims to love you? <a class="_58cn" data-ft="{"tn":"*N","type":104}" href="https://www.facebook.com/hashtag/teamneither">#TeamNeither</a> is not an option :) </span></i></div>
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Folks tried with the "#TeamNeither" stuff, but that wasn't going to fly. When pressed, most folks said they would choose the honest manwhore over the cheater. That response makes sense, if you had to choose the lesser of two evils, but that's what makes Mary Jane and characters like Olivia Pope so relateable and frustrating: As women we shouldn't have to choose the lesser of two evils, but many of us, myself included, do it anyway and<a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/12/808s-heartbreak-recognition-and.html"> get involved all the time with men who aren't good for us, aren't available and aren't who God wants for u</a>s. <br />
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So, I take it back, #TeamNeither <u><b>IS</b></u> an option because we all deserve better. The challenge is actually believing it and not settling for anything less than what we deserve. <br />
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Stay random,<br />
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JayJayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-13080901345476287912013-12-31T18:07:00.003-05:002014-01-01T14:28:36.057-05:002014 To-Do List: Where Have You Been and Where Are You Going?<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lLcj8R-BtmY/UsNMm0Ac8RI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/6aGZ9MXTVfM/s1600/happy-new-year-2014-replace-2013-concept-on-the-sea-beach.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em; text-align: center;"><img border="0" height="222" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-lLcj8R-BtmY/UsNMm0Ac8RI/AAAAAAAAAjQ/6aGZ9MXTVfM/s320/happy-new-year-2014-replace-2013-concept-on-the-sea-beach.jpg" width="320" /></a><br />
Happy 2014! It's time to reflect and renew those commitments we made to ourselves the previous year to in essence, do better. However, instead of just making resolutions all willy nilly, I think it's better to look at where you've been to figure out where you need to go.<br />
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For me 2013 has been a transformative year. I've had some triumphs and set backs, but this year was definitely the one where I learned more about moi and how to manage my own crazy. I'm complicated, emotional, opinionated, passionate, a little loud and often unintentionally hilarious. I'm also loyal, protective of the folks I care about and pretty dang dependable if I do say so myself. I ain't perfect, but I'm coming into <a href="http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fabulosity">my fabulosity (s/o to Kimora)</a>. I now know more than ever what people meant when they said people won't value or love you unless you do the same for yourself.<br />
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This is year I've had the pleasure of <a href="https://www.visitmexico.com/en/">using my passport for the first time</a>, singing for the <a href="http://www.kennedy-center.org/programs/specialevents/honors/">president</a> and <a href="http://www.tntdrama.com/christmasinwashington/">other dignitaries</a> (TWICE), and attending my <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/01/inauguration-ii-electric-boogaloo.html">first inaugural ball</a>. What I'm most proud of is the progress I've made in <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/02/were-not-superheroes-and-thats-ok.html">tackling the clinical depression</a> that's negatively impacted every facet of my life for longer than I care to say. Oh and there's the fact that <a href="http://instagram.com/p/g--nupAe5e/">I'm still cancer-free</a>. That's kinda of important :)</div>
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If those were the highlights, then the less-than-stellar moments of 2013 would have to be the vicious <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/06/all-in-family-when-siblings-attack.html">fights that I had with my sister leading up to her wedding</a>, <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/09/all-family-when-siblings-dont-attack.html">almost not going to her wedding</a>, and <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/12/808s-heartbreak-recognition-and.html">experiencing my first real heartbreak</a>. </div>
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<a href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PhxQzVYb8xE/UsNMx_i8loI/AAAAAAAAAjY/A-oruwyZCM8/s1600/sydney.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/-PhxQzVYb8xE/UsNMx_i8loI/AAAAAAAAAjY/A-oruwyZCM8/s1600/sydney.gif" /></a>As I look back on all the good, bad and ugly, I now have a better sense of what I need to do to continue my transformation into 2014 and beyond. What about you? Where have you been. and where are you going in 2014?</div>
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Stay random and Happy Freakin' New Year,</div>
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Jay</div>
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Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2922322259810994048.post-33925559055551182382013-12-16T14:47:00.000-05:002014-01-18T10:26:34.415-05:00808s & Heartbreak - The Recognition and Liberation<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9J8V9tG0BgE/Uq9RABvRFII/AAAAAAAAAig/EvXFaUyJHng/s1600/heartbreak.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-9J8V9tG0BgE/Uq9RABvRFII/AAAAAAAAAig/EvXFaUyJHng/s1600/heartbreak.jpg" /></a>I recently discovered that a man that I cared for deeply didn't really care about me at all. Basically it was all lies and melodrama. <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2013/11/open-letter-some-people-dont-deserve.html">How do I know? He got engaged in September, told me he missed me and sent my flowers for my birthday in October, and got married in November</a>. Shonda Rhimes, I'll give you that storyline for free, as long as I get some kind of credit.<br />
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I won't go into all the gory details, but I knew an engagement was coming for a while, but knowing and accepting are two different things. We were close friends for a long time before feelings started to develop. I loved him, and I thought he loved me. The timeline that I referenced above is what blew my mind. I found out he got married on Facebook and discovered the engagement date when I googled his name. <b>Now, let that sink in for a minute: He got engaged in September, but told me that he missed me and sent me flowers in October. I did not know in October that he was engaged. I found out everything in November.</b> Did I mention that as recently as August I was also trying to help this mofo find a job? Yeah. Messy would be an understatement. <br />
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Anywho, the whole situation left me reeling because it revealed to me what a cowardly, selfish person he really was and left me with the realization that I had invested four years into our...situation and got absolutely nothing out of it except stupid flowers, empty promises and lies by omission. What's worse is that I bear a huge amount of responsibility. <a href="http://thenewrandomness.blogspot.com/2012/07/everything-aint-for-everybody.html">I knew our situation was doomed for a long time</a>, but I kept going with it because I didn't value myself and wasn't strong enough to break free. HOWEVER, it takes two to tango, and he definitely bears as much if not more responsibility for what happened. What he did and how he handled everything was BEYOND S*****, just in case there was any doubt. <br />
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<a href="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IC6dE3fhFTM/Uq9Tt6oBhXI/AAAAAAAAAiw/rrxO07CEw90/s1600/willsmith.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: right; float: right; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-left: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://1.bp.blogspot.com/-IC6dE3fhFTM/Uq9Tt6oBhXI/AAAAAAAAAiw/rrxO07CEw90/s320/willsmith.gif" height="238" width="320" /></a>In the immediate aftermath of my wedding discovery, I was understandably angry and hurt. How could he...? How could I...? <u><b>WHAT THE ENTIRE F***!!!????</b></u><br />
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My emotions were all over the place. I vented and cried to friends over the phone, in person, over text, you name it. Later on, it was the whole struggle with trying not to think about him and get angry and sad because I was NOT going to let his trifling ass have that kind of power over me. He was her problem now.<br />
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Up until recently, I thought I was in a good place about everything until I went to party with a friend. <br />
While there, two guys started talking to me, my friend and her friend. I thought one of the guys was cute and tried to talk to him. I looked cute that night, and thought I had a shot. However, it wasn't meant to be. He took a liking to my friend's friend, and the rest is history. Here I was in a cute little black dress, and he passes me up for a girl wearing a hat, turtleneck and glasses. I felt so rejected that I left the party, not in a huff but in defeat. Ole boy had rejected me, and now it was happening again. I couldn't take it. I had to get out of there.<br />
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When I got home, I called my sister and talked in between tears. We both knew I wasn't crying because the guy at the party was so great. This rejection stung because of the ultimate rejection I had experienced in November. What was wrong with me? Why did he choose her? Am I that bad, that awful? Why wasn't I good enough? What did she have that I didn't? How could we have shared what we did for FOUR YEARS, and he still choose someone else? How could he do this to me? How could I do this to MYSELF? Did he ever love me? Was I just a distraction when she wasn't available?<br />
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In the midst of this purging and hurt my sister said something simple and yet profound: "He broke your heart." <a href="http://abcnews.go.com/Health/Wellness/heartbreak-affects-health/story?id=17518735">Yes, that was it!</a> No wonder I was still struggling to move on and not hate him. No wonder I was gravitating between border-line hate one minute and hostile faux indifference the next. I'm beyond hurt, I'm devastated. This is what heartbreak feels like, and it's painful as hell.<br />
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Here's the good news though: As soon as I admitted that my heart was broken, I felt free of a tremendous burden. I don't know how to explain it, but the acknowledgement alone liberated me in some way. I forgave myself for not getting out of a bad situation sooner. I stopped hating him and wishing bad things for him. Instead, I just hope he understands what he did was not OK and that he doesn't do it to anyone else. A lot of the anger left my spirit (not all, but a lot). I still think about him from time to time and struggle with the idea that he didn't care about me as much as I thought, but it's getting better. I don't need an apology, closure or an explanation. He's still an ass, and it probably wouldn't satisfy me anyway. I'm good, really.<br />
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<a href="http://vimeo.com/81156334">My pastor said it like this: "God always has another."</a> Another job, boo, opportunity, whatever. Since that's the case, let me continue work on myself so that I can distinguish between a counterfeit and the real deal when the next guy comes around. <br />
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Stay random and love yourself,<br />
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<a href="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XsVVxJQNeoo/Uq9TtZfZEYI/AAAAAAAAAi0/-EN9Furf3cw/s1600/kellyrowland.gif" imageanchor="1" style="clear: left; float: left; margin-bottom: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="http://3.bp.blogspot.com/-XsVVxJQNeoo/Uq9TtZfZEYI/AAAAAAAAAi0/-EN9Furf3cw/s200/kellyrowland.gif" height="150" width="200" /></a>Jay. <br />
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<br />Jayhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13765656322799454192noreply@blogger.com0